Mark_australia

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Skid
Skid
QLD
1499 posts
QLD, 1499 posts
20 Apr 2012 7:25pm
theDoctor said...



Probably with a skid..


I resemble that remark!
The Craw
The Craw
WA
229 posts
WA, 229 posts
20 Apr 2012 6:50pm
how long does it take a woman to change a tyre?
theDoctor
theDoctor
NSW
5786 posts
NSW, 5786 posts
20 Apr 2012 9:23pm


probably not as long as it would take to pass a truck
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
20 Apr 2012 7:27pm
felixdcat said...

Mark, I have been trying not to do it for the last 3 hours!!!!!
Please explain!!!






You have OCD and need to see a shrink. Most people try it for 3mins, not feel compelled for 3hrs.
Hope that helps.
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
20 Apr 2012 7:28pm
felixdcat said...

Why do i have to press the " post my new reply" button when I want to ask Mark a question?????


Yin, Yang.
burn a candle while you do it, and you will understand grasshopper
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
20 Apr 2012 7:30pm
Carantoc said...

How would you mark Australia Mark_australia


I think that is quite obvious from my redneck, homophobic, xenophobic racist responses from any threads concerning the current Labor Govt.

(in all seriousness, we all know it is the greatest country on the planet don't we? )
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
20 Apr 2012 7:33pm
ggf said...

how long does it take a woman to change a tyre?


A little known fact is that this very question, many years ago, prompted mathematicians to propose the concept of imaginary numbers. That is, because they simply can't do it, so the answer to your question is i seconds (hours maybe).
Or i to the power of i. Or ......
Chris6791
Chris6791
WA
3271 posts
WA, 3271 posts
20 Apr 2012 7:59pm
Mark _australia said...

ggf said...

how long does it take a woman to change a tyre?


A little known fact is that this very question, many years ago, prompted mathematicians to propose the concept of imaginary numbers. That is, because they simply can't do it, so the answer to your question is i seconds (hours maybe).
Or i to the power of i. Or ......


You are assuming most people with flat tyres hav even noticed they are flat...
Cassa
Cassa
WA
1305 posts
WA, 1305 posts
20 Apr 2012 10:05pm
Looks like we are all on the Mark here


Don't step over or it's 50[}:)]
Carantoc
Carantoc
WA
7269 posts
WA, 7269 posts
20 Apr 2012 10:09pm
Dear Mark_a

Which square is the kiters head in ?

Who is the giver and who is the taker out of Dude and Man ?
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
20 Apr 2012 10:54pm
Carantoc said...

Dear Mark_a

Which square is the kiters head in ?

Who is the giver and who is the taker out of Dude and Man ?


(1) K9
Unless you mean the missing kiter?

(2) Given the names, one would reasonably suspect Dude is the younger character, and Man the older. This would give rise to an assumption of a pederastic relationship, with Dude obviously the 'taker' in that scenario.
Chris6791
Chris6791
WA
3271 posts
WA, 3271 posts
20 Apr 2012 11:49pm
Pederastic, hmmm, had to wikipedia that one.

For a redneck, homophobic, xenophobic racist you have quite the vocabulary Mark
Bone74
Bone74
380 posts
380 posts
21 Apr 2012 11:28pm
Mark
not sure what to do
about to take home a Greek girl
do I go through the front door or the back door
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
22 Apr 2012 12:13am
Bone43 said...

Mark
not sure what to do
about to take home a Greek girl
do I go through the front door or the back door


Depends. If your wife is home, sneak the Greek girl thru the back door.
If you are single, go thru the front so all the neightbours see that you scored.

Stuthepirate
Stuthepirate
SA
3591 posts
SA, 3591 posts
22 Apr 2012 3:47am
Mark,
With the Earth having a magnetic field and this field concentrating and becoming stronger at the poles, is it feasible to create a space launching vehicle from an opposing polarity magnet that will propel the craft to outerspace thus eliminating the use of fossil fuels and liquid oxygen as propellents?
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
22 Apr 2012 10:37am
Well of course it is. Just like a big rail gun.

Trouble is, the only big magnet in the world is an Acme 6ft long one, and Wiley Coyote has it for trying to catch the Road Runner.
Even if we get that magnet, to have a successful launch we will have to get the Govt to turn off HAARP, so the ionosphere is not energised like the big magnetic shield around the SS Enterprise.
But if they turn off HAARP, they will lose the mind numbing effects on the population and so will have to increase chemtrail activity and fluoride in the water.

So, no.
the gibbo
the gibbo
WA
776 posts
WA, 776 posts
22 Apr 2012 10:46am
K Dog said...

Last time I checked, mums and daughters is a genre............


Last time i checked, sons and daughters is wierd.......
Waterloo
Waterloo
QLD
1497 posts
QLD, 1497 posts
22 Apr 2012 1:00pm
So what I need to know...

To make glue for the kid's craft work I mix flour + water + sugar.

If you then add egg you get cake!

So where does the glue go???
Skid
Skid
QLD
1499 posts
QLD, 1499 posts
22 Apr 2012 1:55pm
Waterloo said...

So what I need to know...

To make glue for the kid's craft work I mix flour + water + sugar.

If you then add egg you get cake!

So where does the glue go???


Based on my ex-wife's cooking, I would say the glue goes into the cake!
seanhogan
seanhogan
QLD
3424 posts
QLD, 3424 posts
22 Apr 2012 2:12pm
Dear Mark,

My girl friend wants to try anal sex...

I'm affraid I could end up in deep sh$t ??
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
22 Apr 2012 3:24pm
Waterloo said...

So what I need to know...

To make glue for the kid's craft work I mix flour + water + sugar.

If you then add egg you get cake!

So where does the glue go???


The glue is holding all the little teeny-tiny egg molecules together - in the shape of a cake.
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
22 Apr 2012 3:27pm
seanhogan said...

Dear Mark,

My girl friend wants to try anal sex...

I'm affraid I could end up in deep sh$t ??


Before you can answer that question you need to think back to exactly what she said. If she just said 'lets try anal' then that implies nothing about WHO would be the receiver
Maybe she has a 'lovely' surprise for you
DUDE
DUDE
NSW
1132 posts
NSW, 1132 posts
24 Apr 2012 12:30am
WHY.. Mark... WHY...

When I go to the forum heading to get the drop down...I go to surfing and SUP comes up in the surfing header(shortboards,SUP,Longboards) and also have a dedicated Sup drop down as well..
Why Mark are they SPECIAL?...

Why do I get asked for my PIN number?...

Why do I get told that there is an ATM Machine around the corner when I need cash?..

Is Doggie and Bulldogpup the same person(I have never seen them in the same room at the same time) or were they Siamese twins seperated at the testicals??....

Why do Doves cry??...

Is the world gunna end this year and if so will I get laid before it does????


Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
23 Apr 2012 11:00pm
DUDE said WHY.. Mark... WHY...

When I go to the forum heading to get the drop down...I go to surfing and SUP comes up in the surfing header(shortboards,SUP,Longboards) and also have a dedicated Sup drop down as well..
Why Mark are they SPECIAL?...

Mate SUP is surfing but without the initial lying down part. You guys are gonna have to get used to it. Sorry.
But they do need their own section as most of them have trouble navigating the forum as they have self parking $200K Mercedes SUV's with GPS (nobody else can afford a SUP) and they are lost without their NavTom

Why do I get asked for my PIN number?...So the machine knows you are actually the card holder. Oh, you mean the acronym repeating the "N"? I don't knoooowwww .... ask the bank. They have a "burning questions" section on their website.


Why do I get told that there is an ATM Machine around the corner when I need cash?..As above.

Is Doggie and Bulldogpup the same person (I have never seen them in the same room at the same time) or were they Siamese twins seperated at the testicals??....
No Doggie is a Bulldog, therefore Bulldogpup is his love child. Interesting mother....maybe a story for another time.

Why do Doves cry??...
Well, firstly have you been listening to too much Prince? "When doves cry" was a sh!t song, but famous for having no bass line. Anyway.... I don't think doves DO cry. Have a watch of Jimeon's "seagulls don't have eyebrows" on Youtube and you'll get it.
So doves crying is maybe a reference to the dove carrying an olive branch being a symbol of peace. The first WTF? moment was when the U.N used olive branches for their crest. United Nations - peace. Seriously back up a bit... they are the Illuminati and are fluoridating our water!! A better symbol of peace may be a Golden Retriever .... no, Cocker Spaniel... carrying a rainbow in it's mouth. That would be nice. You see, they do cry - especially when Doggie and Bulldogpup get into one....



Is the world gunna end this year and if so will I get laid before it does????


The world will end on 21st Dec as we know (duh). That is, 21/12/12. Unless you are American and can't state a dates in a logical fashion and instead say " 12/21/12". That date does not exist so the whole world will be exterminated in a giant holocaust but America will be spared as 12/21/12 does not exist. Thus, sow your wild oats freely in Australia for the next 8 months, and then move to the USA to avoid the end of the world.
Tell bulldoggiepup's mum I said hi.

DUDE
DUDE
NSW
1132 posts
NSW, 1132 posts
24 Apr 2012 2:26pm
Mark _australia said...

DUDE said WHY.. Mark... WHY...

When I go to the forum heading to get the drop down...I go to surfing and SUP comes up in the surfing header(shortboards,SUP,Longboards) and also have a dedicated Sup drop down as well..
Why Mark are they SPECIAL?...

Mate SUP is surfing but without the initial lying down part. You guys are gonna have to get used to it. Sorry.
But they do need their own section as most of them have trouble navigating the forum as they have self parking $200K Mercedes SUV's with GPS (nobody else can afford a SUP) and they are lost without their NavTom

Why do I get asked for my PIN number?...So the machine knows you are actually the card holder. Oh, you mean the acronym repeating the "N"? I don't knoooowwww .... ask the bank. They have a "burning questions" section on their website.


Why do I get told that there is an ATM Machine around the corner when I need cash?..As above.

Is Doggie and Bulldogpup the same person (I have never seen them in the same room at the same time) or were they Siamese twins seperated at the testicals??....
No Doggie is a Bulldog, therefore Bulldogpup is his love child. Interesting mother....maybe a story for another time.

Why do Doves cry??...
Well, firstly have you been listening to too much Prince? "When doves cry" was a sh!t song, but famous for having no bass line. Anyway.... I don't think doves DO cry. Have a watch of Jimeon's "seagulls don't have eyebrows" on Youtube and you'll get it.
So doves crying is maybe a reference to the dove carrying an olive branch being a symbol of peace. The first WTF? moment was when the U.N used olive branches for their crest. United Nations - peace. Seriously back up a bit... they are the Illuminati and are fluoridating our water!! A better symbol of peace may be a Golden Retriever .... no, Cocker Spaniel... carrying a rainbow in it's mouth. That would be nice. You see, they do cry - especially when Doggie and Bulldogpup get into one....



Is the world gunna end this year and if so will I get laid before it does????


The world will end on 21st Dec as we know (duh). That is, 21/12/12. Unless you are American and can't state a dates in a logical fashion and instead say " 12/21/12". That date does not exist so the whole world will be exterminated in a giant holocaust but America will be spared as 12/21/12 does not exist. Thus, sow your wild oats freely in Australia for the next 8 months, and then move to the USA to avoid the end of the world.
Tell bulldoggiepup's mum I said hi.




Good answers Mark...
Just a point or 2...

Based on your answer to the first question...Windsurfing and Kitesurfing should also come up on the surfing drop down.

There is no such thing as a SEAgull..They are Gulls that are known to live by the sea...
You already knew that right?

Bone74
Bone74
380 posts
380 posts
24 Apr 2012 2:01pm
Mark
when playing 2 UP tomorrow should I go heads or tails
does one side have an advantage over the other?
Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
24 Apr 2012 2:20pm
Bone43 said...

Mark
when playing 2 UP tomorrow should I go heads or tails
does one side have an advantage over the other?


Flipping and landing in your hand is about 51 - 49 but if it hits the floor it is closer to 50-50.

It will land on edge about 1 in 6000 throws so I reckon just bet $100 on an edge and see if the RSL has to pay for your next house.

Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
24 Apr 2012 2:22pm
DUDE said...
There is no such thing as a SEAgull..They are Gulls that are known to live by the sea...
You already knew that right?




Nup, no idea. Never heard of a desertgull so I guess I should have thought about it more.

Hmmm shall we tell Jimeon?
doggie
doggie
WA
15849 posts
WA, 15849 posts
24 Apr 2012 2:43pm
Mark, how come you spell Australia with a little a?

Mark _australia
Mark _australia
WA
23648 posts
WA, 23648 posts
24 Apr 2012 6:32pm
doggie said...

Mark, how come you spell Australia with a little a?




Typo. Still struggling with the typing thing that is plugged into that box that gets me on the interwebs.

I feel ashamed.
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