Toots said...

Constipated and in a hurry? Stand up and sh!t in the shower, when you get penetration run to the dunny.
Constipated and have the day to yourself? relax with a dose of epsom salts dissolved in water, it will dissolve that bound turd, but you will be travelling to the dunny for the rest of the day.
For the record, I had never suffered constipation in my life up until I was 36 when I started taking Panadiene Forte. Had many many doses of Morphine before too but never the dreaded clog.

Toots said...

...then a nurse came to bathe me, and I had to ask her whether the cold teaspoon was a joke or not, I still dont know ;()



Crikey this is bringing back memories, I was in a public ward, Coz I was a big lad but only 15 they accidently put me in the adult ward, probably good they did in the end, I wnet in a boy and came out a man so to speak, three beds up from me was a mental patient who could not stop masturbating, he would call out to the nurses while he was doing it , this was all times of night and day, when ever the need arised. then one fine day a downs syndrome lad was admitted in the bed next to me. he was there 10 minutes then decided he needed a sh!t, he decided where he was standing wasnt a bad place to take one so he did, he had PJ bottoms on that couldnt take the weight of his giant stinky turd, so they peeled off along with the gross stink I still remeber today, but when those pants dropped, I couldnt beleive my eyes, there was the biggest Shlong I'd ever seen, about 3 to 4 inches past his friggin knees, no joke, apparently this isnt unusual, any way........

Helpful home Hint, when you see a downs syndrome person , be jealous, EXTREMELY jealous ;()

FlySurfer said...

WAIT WAIT what kind of woman's going to go with a downer?

Toots said...

...then a nurse came to bathe me, and I had to ask her whether the cold teaspoon was a joke or not, I still dont know ;()


Please explain!!!!