Thats amazing (.).)

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach the wife to mow the lawn and i'll bugger off kiting. Now thats a helpful home hint.

Bachelor home hints-

Toilets are self cleaning.

You get all your body needs from a banana for breakfast, a pie and beer for lunch, and a pie and beer for dinner.

You only need one plate for 2 - 3 days if you plan the 'wettest or stickiest' meal for last. Even better, if the dog licks it you only need to rinse the plate.

Pretty much anything can be hosed off if it is a sunny day. Scrubbing is for suckers.

You save a lot of money on water if you pee in the garden.

Thongs for summer, uggies for winter. No more shoes are required than that really is there?

All the above tips will save u enough to buy lots of wind/kitesurfing gear.

^^^^^^we all have doggie, stop picking your nose.

doggie said...

^^ have you got CCTV at my place?

Cut down on the Lamb Shanks!!!

king of the point said...

I hate those beans in those fked up bean bags ,you come anywhere near my house car or property and you wont see chrismas.
m still cleaning up the bastards 10 years on

I'm with ya. Major source of disagreement with my wife. For the last 7 years she's been dragging this bloody half full bean bag around house to house and I've had to clean up the beans which constantly escape and go everywhere.

Cracked the ****s the other week and dumped the half full bean bag and the half stuffed footstool (hand picked from india, she loves it) out the back as I just managed to stop myself dumping them in the trailer. As luck would have it a 30kt westerly blew up and next thing the entire yard is covered in them.

I lost it and went to dump the lot, she's seen it and sent it off with her mother. Cue me out vaccuuming the back patio for an hour then front and back lawn for 2 hours. Neighbors must have thought I was nuts

GypsyDrifter said...
[br
Helpful hint...Burnt on roast in the roasting pan
soak over night with laundry detergent.

No way!

Scrape off with knife (with oven tray on lap), and consume whilst watching telly. With a beer.

A pressure cleaner and truck wash will get rid of grime on dishes quicker than a dishwasher.
You can also pressure clean your bathroom toilet and laundry !

saltiest1 said...

ive got the big commercial type bolted to my truck. do not use this type. the plates break.

Broken plates = no washing up. There's no downside to that one!

A wise man told me that a man should only ever eat food that can be eaten over the kitchen sink. Saves the risk of having to wash anything.

beanbag story.
mate was sitting infront of open fireplace in share house, goes to kitchen to get a beer, log rolls out sets fire to bean bag
little hot flaming beans shooting all over lounge , even sticking to roof. Its very hard to laugh and put out a fire that is attacking you, and the mate refused to use his beer to put out the fire.
It was a great house for fires, we had a washing machine burn down the laundry, and finally somebody lit a fire in the other fire place, the one that was plugged and had mortar cracks in the roof space. that was the one that took the house

Sell your home and buy silver with the money

Then move into a bunker and sit the rest of this week out

On Monday use some of the silver to make a silver-foil helmet

Next week, not only will you become stinkling rich, but you will be the only person left on the planet

Mark _australia said...

GypsyDrifter said...
[br
Helpful hint...Burnt on roast in the roasting pan
soak over night with laundry detergent.

No way!

Scrape off with knife (with oven tray on lap), and consume whilst watching telly. With a beer.

or just add water to paste consistency and spread on freshly buttered toast, Instant vegemite!

tip two:

If ya really wanna get one up on that dick head at work....by some stinking hot curry for a team lunch, wait for the tosser to go to the toilet and slip a chunk of bait fish into his car air filter ( works best during summer ) whilst he's enjoying his time in the small room...cut a fresh 'birds eye' chilli and rub it on the receiver of his phone...give it a good squeeze...get the juice out...dab dry...wait for a while for the sweat to come back and call him...

You may be a man down for the rest of the day.

GIRLS. MAKE people think you are a nurse by growing a massive arse.

DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

OLD PEOPLE. Each night, go to sleep in the recovery position, potentially saving paramedics valuable time.

AMERICANS. Build your houses out of bricks and mortar instead of cheap wood to avoid having them destroyed by hurricanes every few weeks.

FATTIES. Avoid your torso being surreptitiously filmed and used in a TV news report about the countries obesity problem by always wearing a T-shirt with 'All Newsreaders are W@nkers' written on it.

A POST-IT note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal deterrent to lip-readers.

CONVINCE bar staff that your pint is off by sticking your finger up your @rse before holding the glass close to their nose.

lotofwind said...

Wash your hand after chopping up chillies before you take a p!ss,

Next time, take a p1ss, wash hands, chop chilli...