SEVEN
For those unfortunate soles that follow NSW, you read on at your own risk
Q: Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps.
A: They had pictures of NSW players on them. People couldn?t figure out which side to spit on.
Q: Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a NSW shirt?
A: The police had to dress him up in women?s underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says ?Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered.? The second surgeon says, ?Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.? The third surgeon says, ?Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded.? The fourth one says, ?I prefer NSW fans. They?re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable.?
Q: If you see a NSW fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It could be your bicycle.
Q: What do NSW fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: What do you have when 100 NSW fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: What?s the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead NSW fan on the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: You?re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a NSW fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the NSW fan ? twice.
Q: What?s the difference between NSW and a get engine?
A: A jet engine eventually stops whining.
Q: How many Male NSW fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven ? one to change it, five to moan about and a Manager to say that if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
QUEENSLANDER?S FOREVER
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting.
He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made" said God.
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"Its a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and its going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people."
God continued, pointing to the different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, "What's that?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Queensland, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, impressive towns; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from Queensland are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,"What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the wankers I'm putting next to them in New South Wales."
