I'm so grateful for everything I have - health, roof over my head, family, friends, shed full of saltwater toys etc. I hate the thought of ever taking things for granted.
I have a well-paying permanent job in a good location with good conditions and I am very grateful for that. Good jobs in regional locations seem increasingly scarce and I know I should appreciate what I have. But I hate it. It's big hours, high stress, I don't believe in what I do anymore and I don't trust the people I work with anymore. I keep trying really really hard to find the sunshine in it, but it just sucks ass.
How do you know when you're just taking things for granted and should suck it up? How do you know when it's time to man up and take a risk and search for happiness?
Is moving on reckless and ungrateful and stupid? Or brave and true? And how do you know the difference?
Im in the same way with a good job and all the good things that come with that. I love the work I do but not a fan of the stupid hours I work which really affect me and the family time. Just came back from Fiji yesterday after a a great holiday which just highlighted how wrong we have our priorities in life. Must do something about this and plan the next stage of my work career, to do nothing is not going to make things better.
needsalt,
Are you tying to do a good job, make a difference? The people that hate their work the most are the ones trying to do the least. Not saying that's your case.
Hardcarve,
Priorities always seem screwed up after a great vacation. Problem is, you wouldn't get to go to Fiji if you didn't have the job that pays for it.
Hang in there need salt.
Play the game, theres a book called BULLSHIFT by Andrew Horabin, its a good read when pelicans at work are getting to you about things that dont matter, book also help you to be more of a straight talk kind of guy at work to.
its only 50 pages or so
Select to expand quoteneedsalt said...
[br]I'm so grateful for everything I have - health, roof over my head, family, friends, shed full of saltwater toys etc. I hate the thought of ever taking things for granted.
I have a well-paying permanent job in a good location with good conditions and I am very grateful for that. Good jobs in regional locations seem increasingly scarce and I know I should appreciate what I have. But I hate it. It's big hours, high stress, I don't believe in what I do anymore and I don't trust the people I work with anymore. I keep trying really really hard to find the sunshine in it, but it just sucks ass.
How do you know when you're just taking things for granted and should suck it up? How do you know when it's time to man up and take a risk and search for happiness?
Is moving on reckless and ungrateful and stupid? Or brave and true? And how do you know the difference?
What do you want? Are you able to get what you want where you are?
I have started to agree with the idea of 'keep doing what you are and you keep on getting the same thing'. It is important though to make sure you have some sort of backup plan. For instance, if you move to somewhere with a larger population, make sure you have a job, or enough money to cover you until you do. If you leave your current job are you able to cover your costs while you find a more rewarding one?
People saying 'suck it up' is one thing, but its not that simple. It only looks at a short term outcome. You can keep on doing what you are, but the results won't change. If you feel unhappy with the result, that probably won't change too.
Moving on is not reckless, but it can consume a lot of time and money if you do it a lot.
How long have you had your current job? For me around six to seven years is all I can take in one job/role/position.
i hear ya. I find empathy helps. Empathy for cleaners, labourers etc. often highly capable people stuck in a low paying unrewarding job due to circumstance.
Take on a project around the house. Paving or something. On the weekends get up at 6 to start at 7 and work all day through till 5 like you were employed to do it. then with aching back lying in bed imagine if you had to do it all year for half your wages.
Brave and true reckless and stupid sounds like you been listening to my FRACKING mother MAN UP DO WHAT YOU WANT TO fracking do frack the rest of that shiz
then I saw your profile
Be brave and true darling, honesty and integrity fight the good fight because your a survivor on a journey and some one has to look after the kids while us boys have all the fun 
....
heheheheh
If you stop and have an honest chat with yourself and ask what would I do if money wasn't part of the decision and I could do what I wanted. You may find a very drastic change in what your doing. Yes but what about money. Good point, the choice between living a long life miserable, or a shorter happy one.
I left a job in April this year that was more than enough to pay the bills. I was never home, didn't see the kids, missis, mates , surf ..... Etc etc. I took a years leave without pay. Couldn't afford too, but couldn't afford to just quit either. Maybe have a chat with your employer about taking some extended leave, it can help see what it is you want. It's tricky in three months if I don't go back to work ill be broke. But it's allowed me time to see where my life is going and what I'd lose if I kept on the same path.... Either way you have to trade things off, just try to keep something up your sleeve to buy either time for yourself/ family. Or a means of earlier escape from work due to the sacrifices you make now. Speak to your missy an kids ( if you got them) i had a chat with me daughter she reckons go back on the boats dad. If your captain ( jack sparrow is actually what she said) you can go surfing and catch fish..... Yeah good point
Mate! You're mad! Do this for guaranteed happiness...
* Sell everything and buy a Kombi
* Leave your wife and kids
* Get latest kite gear and board
* Travel, travel and live off the back of the van
* Eat camping food, share stories with locals, meet the local babes and drink to it all at the end of the day watching the sunset of your next kite spot.
Blisss....
What's that saying, "A man with nothing to lose is a man with everything to gain"?
How many people have you heard/read about who, when on their deathbed, have said something like, "I so wish I'd worked harder, longer hours, instead of the time I wasted with my family, loving them and investing myself in them."?
A good life balance is very important. You need to enjoy what you do IMHO but you also need to pay the bills. If you can get it to a point were your happy then your winning
But you do need to work at what you want. Sadly it doesn't often just get given to us in a hand out. Its also important to set a good example to your kids and family.
I saw David Beckham get interviewed and he was asked why he still works so hard, when he could never work again and still never spend all his wealth? He said "I need to show my kids you need to work to get what you want"
Good luck at getting that mix just right
needsalt, if it is any consolation, you certainly are not alone. I just wrote a massive post but deleted it because the bottom line was "you are not alone".
I am grateful for what I have and don't really want for much more. But there is something niggling at me. I'm probably a few years away from it yet, but I'm gonna go with mid-life crisis......
I like Loftywinds idea, but I reckon after the first week (or maybe two) I would start to regret it.
Ok, I'll put my hand up too, same boat so to speak: 'good' job, family,toys, boat etc.
I'm absolutely grateful for what I have, which has been earned I might add, and 23 years in the same job.
Everyday is different, but there's no fun anymore.
Maybe we all need to jobswap?
So if you where 20 again, what would you do?
I always wanted to be a boatbuilder/naval architect. Did physics/science/maths etc, and marks were at best average. at the time.
Then I made the mistake of listening to a 'teacher' who said you'd never have good enough marks, and that killed it.
Ended up in IT, money's ok, but I'd still prefer to be covered in fibreglass and antifoul.
do anything for work and you soon wont enjoy it.
I guess staying in the one job wears you down (regional area) but imagine how much worse it would suck in the cty. keep an eye out for another good paying job maybee...
Select to expand quotecrustysailor said...
So if you where 20 again, what would you do?
That's the kicker though crustysailer. If I was 20 again, I would do what I did all over again. I haven't regretted it, I just wonder if it is time to change. My assumption is needsalt probably feels the same.
What started me off initially was a health scare. It turned out to be nothing, but it was an anxious few months. My profession requires a medical every year. If I fail that, I loose my job. If I loose my job, I have no other skills to fall back on to support my family. It is a sobering experience when you finally have that realization that we a not immortal.
But to answer your question, I did always want to be in the Navy
Needsalt on a practical level, if you have a family to support then now is not the time in our economic cycle to leave a secure, well paying job - unless you have a secure, well paying job lined up. If you are only supporting yourself, then you can take a risk and live on bread & water if need be.
I jumped around a lot, only began my current career at 28. I don't mind my work at all, I feel neutral about heading to work, often I'm even happy to get away from the house and have some peace and quiet. I think that's about the best you can hope for in the long term. As mysusername says most 'love your job' things are transient or a myth. I once worked taking backpackers on a day long kayak trip in the mountains, then chatting up the prettiest girls round the fire at night. After 9 months I didn't enjoy it anymore, left. It was the best job in the world but do it enough and it becomes work.
"What do you do for a living?" That is the question often pops up when you meet someone at a party, or BBQ.
A job is a form of transaction between your employer/clients and yourself. You sell your time and skills in exchange for a financial reward. It is quite rare to find someone who fully like their jobs. However, I believe those who are lucky enough to be in the research areas may really like and even live for their jobs. I believe it is the intrinsic rewards that keep these folks keep on keeping on. Everyday, every hour could potentially be a "Eureka" moment.
Those people who are able to set themselves "achievable" goals and targets, and do have the autonomy to do so, will find their jobs enjoyable.
What about pays? Scientists are not especially well paid, but they like their jobs. Basically it is the mental challenges and being lucky enough to be left alone in their dingy dark corners to do things only themselves understand.
I did have a very interesting job in software development. I believe I was quite capable and hence was basically left alone. It changed when the top management brought in young ass-holes who thought programming begins and ends with an Excel spreadsheet.
When I saw circumstances was changing, I looked for alternative. Not so much a new career, but I looked for an alternative means of income other than working for someone. I learned how to invest. The plan was that when I have sufficient fund to support myself, and I have had enough of those ass-holes, I will tell them to shove it.
It was hard to maintain a civil working relationships with those bastards and bitches, but I knew I had to.
The day when I simply gave a one-line resignation letter to the idiot boss, he was totally shocked as he thought he had me fully under control !
What next? I ended up doing contract work for the same company, and charged it twice as much. However, contract work can be sporadic, so you need to have sufficient finance to tide you over the lean times.
If its possible do what makes you happy. Follow your heart. It sucks being miserable at work, I should know I hate my job. If you have the opportunity to make changes, do so. Nothing wrong with wanting some diversity in your life.
Thank you all so much. You've all given me heaps to think about. And always a bit comforting to know you're not alone
you're probably in a bit of a rut with the "same ol same ol". Sounds like you might need to get a bit of balance back between work and play.
You should take a decent holiday, something really different. Go to Nepal or something.
Take yourself out of the equation. The happiest people in the world are unselfish people. Use your position to buy food for hungry kids somewhere. Having said that you need to get a wave now and then to clear your head so you can be more helpful to others.
yeah how about some long service or a big holiday. doesnt have to be expensive. just long. go to a shxthole like thailand or bali and see how poor people have it.
I bet iv changed my life more than anyone !
It drives me on with new challenges but I'm not that super motivated.
i just can't sit still for long, however the down side is I undo all the hardwork
and gain iv made.
my advise, take three months off to go on a adventure.
its long enough to get into it and live a different lifestyle.
then you'll know what you need or want!
Then you haven't upset the apple cart to much....
15 years my own boss, some years are average ,some are awesome, some years dont veen make the poverty line,yet, family trips to Sth america,inc machu pichu, france ,uk , plus holidays in Aus,.
it was the best thing we as a family have ever done
How do you afford it if yr on the poverty line?
True question not taking the piss...I struggle to take a wife and 2 kids and I earn a decent amount. Damn expensive to go overseas.
Hate to be negative on a post like this, but Battle, that is a very unenlightened attitude. People grow to hate their work for many reasons, very different reasons to what you describe.
As for the original post; my experiences have shown me I have only regretted moving on from something when I fail to move onto something fulfilling. I have learnt when I need to move on, Im best off developing some sort of goal first, it helps to recognise that I am on the right path and sometimes how to correct course.
Nah, it's not unenlightened. As an employer I see it all the time, in about 5-10% of people. And it's not an attitude it's an observation.
It's a viscous circle where people resent their jobs more and more the less they try to accomplish. They have no sense of fulfillment, as you mention, and end up blaming the job itself. On the flip side, people who are putting effort in to getting stuff done, meeting deadlines, making customers happy, etc, generally are happy to have done so.
I'll repeat though, I did say it may not be needsalt's case.
Select to expand quotemyusernam said...
do anything for work and you soon wont enjoy it.
I guess staying in the one job wears you down (regional area) but imagine how much worse it would suck in the cty. keep an eye out for another good paying job maybee...
Hmm... not sure about that. My father-in-law is a retired 747 captain and misses working after 30 years of flying. Goes to the pub once a week to share flying stories with his pilot mates. Of course, I'm aware that there are some major draw backs to being a pilot too (hard and costly industry to get into and at low pay initially, seniority, health issues can scuttle you at any point, etc., etc).
I'm envious of my father-in-law's career and the fact that he enjoyed it so much because I definitely don't skip to work. My other concern is that I won't have any work stories worth talking about at the pub when I retire in 20 odd years time (I work in a well paid job in finance.... not at the stupid money end of town unfortunately). Who wants to talk about finance over a beer?!.
Work has me by the short and curlies for the next few years and then may be I can look at something different. It ain't that easy though with wife, kids, big mortgage and the prospect of retraining.
Maybe people in the first world these days (and I include myself in this) grow up with an expectation that work will be fulfilling. We're then disappointed when it's not. Having spent the last week digging post holes and putting in a fence, I am well aware that things could be a whole lot worse.
