Spoke to a mate last night for the first time since he tried to committ suicide a couple of weeks ago. Man what sadness in his voice, totally despondent, his recovery and future centered around coming to terms with and resolving so many issues that led to his decision to try and take his life. Nothing is the same, his family are hurting. To often we mask the reality with a mix of bravado and she'll be right attitude, with a lack of willingnes or knowledge to confront or talk about the issues and our vulnerabilities, it's a male thing. In this guy's life a paring back of what really is important, health, family and happiness with the material possession thing way back in the distance. Balance, I think is the key in all aspects of our lifes also we are all lucky to have surfing as a centering of balance that helps that focus , well at least in my life..... phew

doggie, I am not a Dr of any description, and have not suffered from depression, so I only offer this in an attempt to help - perhaps your parents are too close to the situation, and/or not equipped to make an objective assessment and or provide meaningful advise.

Often I have received the best advice from colleagues or aquaintences - those that know me, but are not close friends (and do not know my close friends), as they tend to have an outsider's perspective...

Talking is definately part of the answer... so is typing on SeaBreeze!

Once you start opening up and dealing with the issues is a massive step in the positive direction that will be dealt with over time it's pretty common this depression having had a bout of it and knowing lots of friends who have had it but the important thing to remember it is not insurmountable and once you get to the other side it's a total blast as control starts to happen in your life again, empowering to say the least

doggie, just run out and bite someone on the bum.

or,..maybe a better idea,..
you could run out and buy a copy of "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.
Available as a softcover book for about $25 or as a cd set for about $80.

The cd set (7 cd's) is worth it because you are more likely to listen to it over and over whereas with a book, you tend to just read once and forget it.
ANd you really do need to read or hear this stuff many times over so that it changes your natural way of thinking.

The basic message is that people tend to store up everything that ever went wrong in their life and continually replay it over and over rather than just live in the present moment and deal with the immediate situation.
Most of the stuff that depresses people is stuff that has already happened so you can't change it.
Once you have considered it, analysed what went wrong (or right) and taken lessons from it for the future, it's pointless dwelling on it any further.
What's done is finished with. Live in the present moment.

The other thing that depresses people is that they stress about future events too much. What if this, what if that,. most of which is wasted stress because of the many possibilities you stress about, at the most only one of them will be correct, and maybe none of them will be. So why stress about all of them?
So again, consider the future ocasionally when you are feeling up to it but then put that to one side and live in the present.
It's not easy because the mind is like a dog off the leash and continually chases after the worst posssibilities and dwells on those. It's wasted stress because you are ruining the present moment which is probably quite acceptable by dragging some other imagined event into the present, which probably wont occur anyway.

There's lots of other stuff in this book that can be of use in just keeping life in perspective.

And don't say that you cant afford $25 cos I wont believe you.

Doggie,


Go see a doc.
I know somebody very close to me with depression and just having the medication made them a different person - at 1/8th the standard dose.

If you need anything give me a bell

I sit right into pweedas post,always dragging the sh-t from the past into my head daily and always worried about the future.

Good replies guy's I am reading with serious interest.

Mark what type of doctor did your friend see?

PS, Love ya like a brother Doggie

62mac said...

I sit right into pweedas post,always dragging the sh-t from the past into my head daily and always worried about the future.

Good replies guy's I am reading with serious interest.

Mark what type of doctor did your friend see?

PS, Love ya like a brother Doggie

Thanks Mac

@ Felix, for so long I have tried to fix it myself and thought up until now that I could, I do need to talk to a doc.

Onya for putting yaself out there doggie.

Easier in the short run to bottle it up and be all blokey but will hit you in the long run.

Best of luck down the track.. maybe try biting someone to see if that helps after all.

despite the fact that some of us think a 6 pack is a support group ...it helps to stay off the turps......
i've pm'd you mate

Doggie,
Hang in there, get help where you can, it will get better!
Some good advice from the other seabreezers here.

Btw, if you are looking at getting "the power of now", have a look on audible.com www.audible.com.au/?ref=Adbl_ip_rdr_from_US&ipRedirectFrom=US&ipRedirectOriginalURL=search%3Fref%3Dsr_lftbox_1_1 (not sure if this link will work). You can download it without leaving your couch for less than 1/2 the price of the CD set. On a sideline, you may even find other books there to help you on your way.

Peace

Thanks all, great advice and I think I needed all of it

To all that PMed me a very big thanks you know who you are

Hey mac I will buzz you in the next couple of days.

Cheers

Nathan

I was depressed for a few years. This mainly streamed from me smoking pot

petermac33 said...

i live in a block of homeswest units,most occupants i'd say are borderline or fully depressed.

they suffer high/lows,are mostly on anti-depressants of some kind which compound their irritability i think.

keeping myself occupied daily with activity/sport of some kind is my way of not joining them.

i find in summer months when i'm exposed to greater amounts of sunlight [thru sailing] my stress and sleeping improve heaps.

finances,overwork a large cause of stress i see.

don't know the answer but going for a walk in nice surroundings helps a bit for me.

finding the drive to keep yourself occupied [doing activity you enjoy]would be my best advice,along with getting more sunshine.

Hey peter mac i was under the impression that you lived next to rose porteous with the gfc & share market predictions.

Get him hooked in mate.Fixed my depression.
Only prescription is a board sail and wind. Im sure you can scrape up a old setup in the vic post
"i love windsurfing because im a better person "

When you go and visit a quack for depression one of the first things they will ask is if you are eating properly. Now I do not know what comes first, depression or bad diet, but it would seem as though bad diet is a major contributor, as is alcohol. There are two tips!

And Beyond Blue is nationwide. Highly recommend!

Depression is a terrible thing. I'm sorry you are going through it Doggie and I feel sorry for your mate ockanui.

Stopping smoking has messed with my mind big time and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm not suffering from it now.

I think talking about it, and realising it would have to be a big step forward.

I've had dealings with a few of my friends in the past who have been suffering from it - I think it must be really common for men in their 40's, cause most of the male friends I know from my childhood are depressed.