I too was working in automotive spare parts a long time ago and a old lady pulled up in her GREEN Morris 1100 and came in and asked for some wiper blades for her car. To which I replied sorry we have no spare parts for GREEN cars today .She turned and said OK and when to leave and we had to explain we were haveing a slow day and pulling the p*!!ss out of her luckily she saw the funny side

It's a noisy environment, don't be a prick!!!

Take it easy on retailers ffs.

oldtelefart said..
The dumbest person in the world works behind the counter at my local supermarket.
All I ever buy there is a 50g bag of Winfield Gold rollie tobacco.
Every time I speak loudly, clearly and slowly: "Can I have a 50gram Winfield Gold rollie tobacco please."

After a minute or so of fumbling about, this vacant-eyed mouth-breathing spotty youth turns around: "Winfield?"
"Yes. I haven't changed my mind in the last 45 seconds. Winfield Gold, 50grams."

More fumbling, then: "Gold?"
"Yes."

More fumbling, then: "50 or 25 gram?"
"50 please."

Thank Christ the till tells her how much change to give or I'd be there half a day.
And in a year or two this vacant space will have a driver's license, a vote, her first baby...........

Grab her phone number for me will ya?


Drivethru (any chain store)
"Yeah I will have a XXXXX burger, just the burger not a meal thanks"
"Yes, a XXXXX Burger, will there be anything else..?" (or ".....do you want fries or a drink with that..?")

FFS Yes try and do the value add thing - but when the customer has already been clear about their wishes......

Mark _australia said..

oldtelefart said..
The dumbest person in the world works behind the counter at my local supermarket.
All I ever buy there is a 50g bag of Winfield Gold rollie tobacco.
Every time I speak loudly, clearly and slowly: "Can I have a 50gram Winfield Gold rollie tobacco please."

After a minute or so of fumbling about, this vacant-eyed mouth-breathing spotty youth turns around: "Winfield?"
"Yes. I haven't changed my mind in the last 45 seconds. Winfield Gold, 50grams."

More fumbling, then: "Gold?"
"Yes."

More fumbling, then: "50 or 25 gram?"
"50 please."

Thank Christ the till tells her how much change to give or I'd be there half a day.
And in a year or two this vacant space will have a driver's license, a vote, her first baby...........

Grab her phone number for me will ya?


Drivethru (any chain store)
"Yeah I will have a XXXXX burger, just the burger not a meal thanks"
"Yes, a XXXXX Burger, will there be anything else..?" (or ".....do you want fries or a drink with that..?")

FFS Yes try and do the value add thing - but when the customer has already been clear about their wishes......

And isn't it illegal for them to not display the price of the individual items? There's only ever the meal prices. And they don't give you a receipt, so you can never know...

Mark _australia said..

Grab her phone number for me will ya?


Drivethru (any chain store)
"Yeah I will have a XXXXX burger, just the burger not a meal thanks"
"Yes, a XXXXX Burger, will there be anything else..?" (or ".....do you want fries or a drink with that..?")

FFS Yes try and do the value add thing - but when the customer has already been clear about their wishes......

Yeah they have to ask, it's drilled into them, besides market research shows it works and is lucrative. Like putting chocolate bars and trashy women's mags at the checkouts.

Around 20 years ago I was playing a game of amateur soccer at Coker Park in Cannington.

That day I heard the dumbest comment ever - and I do mean ever!

One of the opposition defenders had the ball and I noticed he had spotted one of their midfielders make a run up the left hand side of the pitch.

The defender played a perfect ball through for the midfielder to run onto.

But....I spotted it and got goal side of the opponent.

Rather than kick it out for a shy or corner I sort of shepherded the ball out like they do in Aussie Rules.

Result was a goal kick for our keeper - job well done I thought.

Our keeper kicks the ball up to the half way line and in less than 10 seconds its in the back of our net.

As I am about to walk back to the halfway line to restart the game again - our keeper blames the goal on me - for not kicking the ball out for a corner!

The stupid fool was genuinely angry at me

Now that's being seriously thick.

Mark _australia said..

Beaglebuddy said..
I learned a long time ago that just because someone has no knowledge or experience in a certain subject it does not make them stupid. Please be kind to people asking questions we don't need people thinking we are arseholes.

Really? She could not understand how a sail makes power.......... she never figured that out as a kid.....This is not rocket surgery.

She's obviously not from the coast and has never seen a sailboat before but I bet she could talk circles around you about farming or some such thing.

next time take the time to sit and watch kiting, yep its that boring i dont even get to the sitting part!!!!!! we all like doing different things or havnt u worked that out yet!!,

I was surfing at Scabs years ago, big nasty shore break. Sure enough, got wiped out & broke my board in two. I'm walking out of the white water, tail under one arm with leg rope still on, and the tip half I found, under my right arm. A puzzled looking gent standing at the edge of the water asks me "Gee, did you break that just then..??" No I actually broke it last week, but still thought I'd see if I can make it work.

Contender:

i.imgur.com/nwpzyKr.gifv

Warning: Elevators. And death.

This happened about a week ago.
Lady walks down the beach with sup, launches and paddles out.
Set comes and she catches a wave.
Old guy on mal drops in and stays there, even with encouragement to pull off.
End of episode is his comment to her:
"Don't you know the rules of the surf, you cant just come off the beach and catch a wave!"
hmmm.

You're not making sense,... I'm making sense..... pretty much explains the dumb persons problem....

and another classic from about the same era....

Waterloo said..
Once in the dentist's waiting room and was filling out the forms. I asked the pretty thing behind the counter the date.

"20th June" was the reply.

Dental assistant standing beside the counter pipes up with "two days until the Winter Solstice"

"The whattt? says the receptionist.

"The Winter Solstice...you know the shortest day of the year...."

pregnant pause while processing through brain. "Oh, I don't believe in any of that stuff!!!" says the receptionist smugly

a quiet hush fills the waiting room

another pregnant pause

"although there was this one day in October that seemed to be really long...."

well no-one knew where to go from there, so it was eyes back down to the ten-year old copy of Caravaners World..

some people live in blissful ignorance of the world around them

I was thinking about this and came to the conclusion that perhaps she's from the tropics? (and I learnt something)

Many moons ago I was doing my trade as a sparky, I went to an old dear house with a tradesman to fix a open circuit on a lighting circuit. The old dear was stuck to us . She was a bit on the nose (no b o control ) and asking silly questions, the tradesman asked her if she had a needle cause he found the problem and the wire was blocked...... said maybe he could save her some money trying to unblock it with a fine needle. She turned her back and went mumbling, we thought we managed to get rid of her.......... 5 minutes later she was back with a big selection of needles in different sizes!