Drift needs some decent excuses

Well if you have been following poor Drift's problems over the last 6 months he needs some serious help.
Every time he walks into the local Windsurfing stores to buy something inexpensive he walks out with a new board or sail or mast or boom.
His wife makes him pay dearly. Last time was a new couch, this time there are rumours of curtains.
So with him walking into a store to purchase harness lines he walks out with a new Sail, Mast and Boom(you would think he would learn) How are we bros going to help this guy?
Excuse 1 - Use the sail as a new funky design doona. When going out sailing can tell the wife it needs an airing
Excuse No.2 - Use mast as a flag pole - nationalistis pride and spirit
Excuse No.3 - Boom - Mount in shower as handicap rails.
What other uses of Windsurfing gear can we come up with to assist our brother?

Mast: He's a professional film-maker/photographer, so he'll have no problem justifying a top end carbon mast; or even 3 of them to suit the beguilling array of conditions that we love in Victoria: Solution: Camera mounts/tripod. Why, he could even write them off against his tax as a work expense! Actually, given my own recent experiences with the lottery of submitting a tax return in Oz - which effectively means obtaining a refund for broadband costs associated with spending too long on Seabreeze - this might just fly...

Harness lines: Mick to missus, looking guilty: ''You know what dear, I just couldn't shut the boot of the car. Bloody lock on those X-trails. Used to be made in Japan - all imported from Thailand now, sweets. I didn't want any of your quilt making gear flying out the back, and all the hardware shops were shut, what with it being 10am on a Sunday on the way to Inverloch, and the nearest convenient store was SHQ. I was literally forced, yes forced darling, to buy these top end carbon filament harness lines to temporarily tie the door down. No need to thank me now - a cup of tea and a nice slice of cake is thanks enough...''

You do have new MXT type Neil Pryde extensions to go with that don't you? What about a North extension? What about another North extension when the first one jams up?

Can't you tell your wife that all the stuff you are buying now was always part of the initial purchase, it is just that you were waiting on the stock to arrive and you have ongoing payments on the layby?

Failing that, offer her another lounge (and hope she doesn't take you up on it).

He'll be buying a teabag next...

OR WORSE.......Boardshorts

Sorry Old Salty,
Excuse 2 is not an option...I already have a 460 mast hidden as a flagpole!