Since it’s not windy here (Canberra) at the moment, I have time to post to this.
These are pictures of the cutouts on my board, as well as the sticker that says the board has a “Carbon T-stringer”. The board is a Fanatic Sting Ray 150TT. The cutouts and carbon T-stringer were both developed by the Marketing Division of the Fanatic Sailboard Company.
This is a simple explanation as to how the cutouts work: They are red, and they have flames coming out of them, so they are fast. It follows that if the cutouts are fast, the rest of the board must also be fast. As people sail up behind me, they call out “
Hey, Bristol, I like your cutouts, they’re fast!” I would like to call back, but they are generally well in front of me and out of earshot by the time I have thought of something to reply. I hope they don’t think I’m being superior, just because of the cutouts.

This is a technical explanation as to how the cutouts work: The board generates static electricity as it travels through the water. Static electricity travels along the carbon T-stringer to the cutouts. This static aligns the water particles in the same direction as the board is travelling, thus reducing drag on the fin, so the board travels more quickly, well, fast, actually. Surplus electrical energy is then discharged through the cutouts, generating flames.
I want to try and harness this surplus energy in an environmentally-sound way. I understand that I may be eligible for a Government rebate if I can discharge into the ACT grid. To that end, I plan to have Mrs Bristol sail the board in a thunderstorm. The carbon mast and alloy boom are both excellent conductors of electricity; I am not sure about Mrs Bristol’s conductivity. To the cutouts, I will attach a copper wire, which will then connect to the ACT grid. I believe that I need a special valve to stop the current flowing from the grid into Mrs Bristol. I must be sure to connect the valve the right way round.
I want any rebate money from my idea to go to the general good of the windsurfing community. Kiters, this idea is NOT for you. Your lot (Benjamin Franklin) tried this years ago, and did nothing further with it.
Did I mention that it’s not windy here at the moment? It hasn’t been windy for some time.