Hello brothers,
Would you be so kind to share your ideas how you managed to convince your wifes to get them on board.
Here it just doesn't work, it is a bit boring to always go out by myself..
Thanks
Serb.
Some people were born to sail and others weren't.
That's IT!!!!
I have three daughters and a wife.
One daughter loves sailing.
That's IT!!!!
gary
Make sure you have a clean, private head. (Toilet). Sail with minimum heel. Stop for a nice lunch. Everything gentle. Good luck!
take her and a few of her friends and a bottle of bubbles ,dont hog the helm encourage her to have a steer, explain whats happening ,its a lot more fun if your involved
dont go to far and make it a nice destination
always remain calm partners are like wild animals they can sense the panic
and if all that fails grab a backpacker and go racing
I tried all the above with my wife. She just didn't want to be on a yacht. No ifs no buts, she just isn't interested in boats or sailing.
My younger sister on the other hand was the driving force in her and her ex army husband buying a Valiant 40 and living aboard.
My view is if your wife isn't keen after a first gentle sail on a calm day, give up. I find people are either keen or they have no interest, nothing in between.
Don't ruin your relationship, it isn't worth it.
Hey Serb
Go to the local sail club, put the word out that your looking for female crew to help you go out sailing.
Ill bet when your wife finds out your out enjoying your self with another woman she will change her mind and go sailing with you every time.
Select to expand quoteCraig66 said..
Hey Serb
Go to the local sail club, put the word out that your looking for female crew to help you go out sailing.
Ill bet when your wife finds out your out enjoying your self with another woman she will change her mind and go sailing with you every time.
And if that doesn't work ditch your wife and marry the female crew
Select to expand quoteMicrobe said..Craig66 said..
Hey Serb
Go to the local sail club, put the word out that your looking for female crew to help you go out sailing.
Ill bet when your wife finds out your out enjoying your self with another woman she will change her mind and go sailing with you every time.
And if that doesn't work ditch your wife and marry the female crew
Yes. Exactly
My trouble is the lovely wife "says" she likes sailing but in reality what she likes is what happens once you get to a nice spot , drop anchor and enjoy a nice lunch and a swim. Everything either side of this is endured through clenched teeth and much anxiety. I have tried all the suggested solutions mentioned above (like sailing with barely enough sail to give steerage through a tack to keep the heel to a minimum) but nothing seems to calm the anxiety. What's worse my son is now picking up on that and is heading down the anxious sailor path. 
I tend to agree with Gary. Some people are sailors and get it and enjoy it. Others are not.
The trick Serb1980 is to negotiate things such that your wife's reluctance to sail does not prevent you from still being able to enjoy it.
I wish you luck 
So would you rather go out sailing and be confident on a small boat by learning how to sail with a skilled yachtie or with amateur hubby on Sydney harbour/PP/Moreton for the first time.
Frankly if SWKB has not been involved in buying or refurbishing the boat shame on you . I'm not sure whether by good fortune or smart planning we as a family ,me ,the boss and three daughters aged 7,11,12 did sailing lessons on a H28 every Saturday for a month irrespective of weather on PP. whilst our first keel boat was being built in the mid 70's. The skipper was a calm ,softly spoken bloke who made everything look simple and safe as houses. The girls loved him. The boss was involved in the boats decor and we sailed and stayed overnight on the boat as a family most weekends. Oh,the boss could not even swim.
But I cured her of sailing by getting caught out in a typical summer storm on PP and then buying a bigger boat to go racing. Actually I did such a good job she will not even go outside of the Broadwater on the daughters 60 foot Riv. these days. Of the three daughters one has above boat and they can be found anywhere between Sydney H and the Whitsundays , one is a master diver and is on/ in the water regularly .
50% success rate and I love sailing solo one day a week .
Select to expand quoteMattM14 said..
My trouble is the lovely wife "says" she likes sailing but in reality what she likes is what happens once you get to a nice spot , drop anchor and enjoy a nice lunch and a swim. Everything either side of this is endured through clenched teeth and much anxiety. I have tried all the suggested solutions mentioned above (like sailing with barely enough sail to give steerage through a tack to keep the heel to a minimum) but nothing seems to calm the anxiety. What's worse my son is now picking up on that and is heading down the anxious sailor path.
I tend to agree with Gary. Some people are sailors and get it and enjoy it. Others are not.
The trick Serb1980 is to negotiate things such that your wife's reluctance to sail does not prevent you from still being able to enjoy it.
I wish you luck
Valium is good for anxiety, but it makes for a doey crew
Ok, I am going to out myself here. Watermark was owned by my husband and I. Sometimes he would answer othertimes it was me. He died 18 months ago. I can give a female perspective on this one. I learnt to sail when I was a teenager and loved it straight away but I have seen so many women put off sailing by their husbands. Take her out on a gentle day, explain to her how the boat works and what to expect when the boat heels over. A lot of women get scared because they dont understand the righting action on a yacht and their husbands take them out on a windy day. Pack a nice lunch, some nice wine and enjoy one anothers company. Have a gentle sail home, preferably with the wind behind and let her sail the boat. Explain what you are doing and what will happen and if she stuffs it up, dont yell and dont panic. Hopefully, she will have a good time and will want to go out again. Let her build up confidence in you, the boat and herself.
Select to expand quoteWatermark said..
Ok, I am going to out myself here. Watermark was owned by my husband and I. Sometimes he would answer othertimes it was me. He died 18 months ago. I can give a female perspective on this one. I learnt to sail when I was a teenager and loved it straight away but I have seen so many women put off sailing by their husbands. Take her out on a gentle day, explain to her how the boat works and what to expect when the boat heels over. A lot of women get scared because they dont understand the righting action on a yacht and their husbands take them out on a windy day. Pack a nice lunch, some nice wine and enjoy one anothers company. Have a gentle sail home, preferably with the wind behind and let her sail the boat. Explain what you are doing and what will happen and if she stuffs it up, dont yell and dont panic. Hopefully, she will have a good time and will want to go out again. Let her build up confidence in you, the boat and herself.
+1
These are wise words and offer a good, perhaps the best, chance of success. My own experience follows Watermark's advice. Many of us learnt to sail when we were young and invincible. People without this background can't be expected to feel safe and love it the way we do from the start. Some never will and that is OK, it's just the way it is.
And remember, it is all a dance. If your partner goes sailing with you, to try and share your passion, go do something they love to share their passion.
K.
I've had pretty good success with kids in laser 2 - wifey in charter catamaran (this is our 2nd time) after initial training in laser. She is loving this now, flat water, great island walks, fishies and helming.
Even so our daughter gets sea sick and while this was her choice of holiday as yr 12 reward she left after 5 days which is sad because I was hoping for long term crew options there later when I buy a big boat. However our son also left and we get 5 days alone in Whitsundays haha yay
About to experiment further with it's sailing abilities, it will do 4 in 8, 6 in 12 but I am about to test it's windward performance which so far I haven't been terribly impressed by in choppy conditions. Shortish with L. A.R. Keels...
I bought my boat in Brisbane and spent 6 months sailing it back to Perth with my wife who had very minimal experience and 2 boys 7 and 10 at the time with no boating experience. My wife was going to Brisbane anyway to visit her sister, so I sent her up to Newport to look at the boat first. It didn't matter how many of my 'boxes' the yacht ticked, if she didn't like it cosmetically it wasn't going to happen.
My first lesson on the way home would make any baked on traditionalist cringe. There are NO sheets, halyards, painters, winches, jammers, bow, sterns, galleys, heads and so on on a boat... They are white ropes with blue flecks, white rope with red flecks, round silver thing over there, front of the boat, back of the boat, you get the idea. Once I came to that realisation everyone started enjoying themselves more... The family was learning and I wasn't frustrated with them not understanding.
Watermark is on the mark... Pick the right day. Its not about showing off your new found skill just yet. Show off your new found love instead... Sell the dream. A nice lunch and a bottle of wine (her favourite, not yours). I got the sale of a boat over the line by doing this last year. I knew the (reluctant) partner was coming along for the sea trial, so I put a bunch of flowers on the table, bought along a platter and a bottle of bubbles of which she got served just before slipping the pen. Boat sold before we got back 
5 years on, my youngest boy will have a tantrum if I go sailing without him. At the age now of 12, he confidently helms a 47' yacht onto a mooring and with my guidance into a marina pen. My wife and eldest boy simply enjoy the outdoors on the water, the social aspect of sailing, the sundowners and a wine or 2 - or more. They enjoy every thing about the boat bar the actual sailing -oh and the maintenance.
Bottom line.. Don't force your love of your boat onto her. Don't expect her to become a reliable crew member. Make sailing enjoyable for what she sees it as and your wife will enjoy it more.
My wife is the text book land lubber. I bought a 25' trailer sailer which had a head and V berth. That'll make her happy me thought! Nope, the head needed to be fully enclosed for privacy, the V-Berth wasn't big enough for us both (fair call), so the 25 got sold. Now have a 28' er. Enclosed head, double bed, more room, that's better.
She wasn't comfortable sailing more than a few hundred meters off shore and mostly in very fair weather. Self tacking headsail helps! She has recently sailed to Rottnest on a calm, light day and spend a few nights in the very protected, Geordie Bay, close to the cafe and the beach. Rottnest is 21km offshore.
I met a couple who had similar issues, so he bought a 45' cat, invited the mrs and a bunch of her friends out for a sail, plied them with champagne and a nice gentle sail on a perfect day. Banned her from the galley and spoiled them. Rinse and repeat and now she loves it and has become a convert.
I think one of the most important things for my mrs was that she needed to understand how social sailing was. I love the journey, she loves the destination. We started going to the club, attending social nights and social sails with cruising in company type weekends. Now she wants to do more CIC events. Lots of lovely people and more women in the social sailing events.
Planning on a bigger keelboat when we get the chance to actually use it, but until then, its Champers on all sails, no heeling beyond 10 degrees and relaxing destinations.
DM
Select to expand quoteCraig66 said..
Hey Serb
Go to the local sail club, put the word out that your looking for female crew to help you go out sailing.
Ill bet when your wife finds out your out enjoying your self with another woman she will change her mind and go sailing with you every time.
Not too bad idea, a bit risky indeed!
OK,
Hmmmm some interesting comments here, not sure all will work.
From my perspective as a wife who didn't grow up sailing there are quite a few things to consider.
1 - go easy on a nice day & explain how the boat behaves, build trust. Repeat, repeat, repeat!
2 - don't assume your wife is not capable of learning names of ropes, explain what they do and why they need adjusting.
3 - most women I know need to know the 'why'. Telling or ordering them to 'pull in' or 'let out' some pretty coloured rope doesn't teach them to sail & understand. Explain what you are doing and why. Trimming sails & not discussing what you are doing doesn't build her knowledge or confidence.
4 - And for god's sake when things get a little hectic, & they will, don't shout orders. Stay calm and ease something. Be conservative.
5- private head set up, doesn't have to be flash, just private.
6 - let her make decisions with you. If one person on our boat is not comfortable with a situation then we reassess & make a mutual decision.
........ OK, there are more (many more) points I could make but you get the drift.
Enjoy, educate & empower, before long she will be happy to dip the rails!
Oh and good food, wine and destinations help!
My wife falls asleep in the cockpit, so I make sure to have nice comfy cushions, and lots of snacks for when she wakes up. The only part she doesn't like is that she has to wake up and change sides every time I tack. So after a while I just let her sleep in the leeward side.
Select to expand quoteFoolish said..
My wife falls asleep in the cockpit, so I make sure to have nice comfy cushions, and lots of snacks for when she wakes up. The only part she doesn't like is that she has to wake up and change sides every time I tack. So after a while I just let her sleep in the leeward side.
Cool I made it nice inside..she should like it
Select to expand quoteSerb1980 said..Foolish said..
My wife falls asleep in the cockpit, so I make sure to have nice comfy cushions, and lots of snacks for when she wakes up. The only part she doesn't like is that she has to wake up and change sides every time I tack. So after a while I just let her sleep in the leeward side.
Cool I made it nice inside..she should like it
She finds it hard to sleep in this type of weather.
