I cut my leg off once with a pencil sharpener blade after i stubbed a toe.

Luckily it grew back.

Do i win?

She broke my heart. But I fixed it myself by buying a new kite.

I grew a third testie.

cRAZY Canuk said...

I relocated my shoulder a 2 weeks ago.

Let me guess.. it was between your upper arm and collar bone?

555 said...

cRAZY Canuk said...

I relocated my shoulder a 2 weeks ago.

Let me guess.. it was between your upper arm and collar bone?

Nah found it on walk about down by a couple of ribs

I once shaved without a mirror

^^^^^^^^^Nice work,howd it happen

going the sargent major 'commando freeball' on the way home from a surf when i was a young 'un many moons ago, i caught the soft fleshy part on the shaft of mr wiggly in the savage metal teeth of the zip whilst hurriedly doing up my fly after being disturbed when having a pee in the dunes.... this was years before the movie 'there's something about mary'... remember the scene where stiller gets his frank and beans caught...? (boy did i pale ride the first time i saw that)
well... it was'nt quite as bad as that poor fella's effort but, there was three teeth's worth of flesh caught in the fly, and i had closed the zip over the skin that was caught... and i could not move.... i could not breathe... i could not release the weight of the shorts i was wearing, i had to hold them suspended out in front of me, kind of like i was fiendishly playing with myself.... and i could not even attempt to try and free myself for the pain i was feeling.... come to think of it, i could not even look to see how bad the damage was...
an old couple, who'd disturbed me peeing in the first place come to my aid.. the old guy tried to take charge and save what little dignity i might have had left, but quickly realised that his failing eyesight and unsteady hand might cause more harm than good, so passed the delicate operation to 'free willy' over to his 'kind eyed' wrinkly old wife... the old guy gave me a bracing hug around the shoulders, i guessed at the time, and in hind sight hoped it was to hold me steady, and she tried to divert my attention by telling me they were out 'roving' and did not mean to intrude on whatever it was i was doing at this out of the way place (this particular beach was a semi secret, out of the way spot back then), and the moment i tried to explain in a half weezing whisper that i was just trying to pee, she yanked on the zip and set old wiggly free. just as quickly as i had been freed, the old duck grabbed my doodle in the palm of her hand and gave it a light squeeze. i was immediately amazed at how soothing her touch was and at the same time mortified that this pretty much counted as my first sexual experience. there was no blood just a graze, however i still bear a scar on the old custard chucker to this very day.

i chopped my toe in half right into the bone when i was 6.... nearest hospital was an hour drive away and it took 40 mins to get service... good old south africa... meanwhile dad was pinching it shut with his fingers and then tied a cloth around it to keep pressure on..

when i was 5 i stood in a bush of those LONG white needle thorns and 13 points broke off in my foot.. dad diggin em otu had great joy in watching me scream.

when i was 7 i was running with dads diving knife strapped to the leg... hopped outa case whipped back n pierced an artery in my leg.. didnt notice untill i felt my foot was extremely hot.. looked down entire foot covered in blood and i could see a flow PULSING out as in lil squirts at a time.. funy how u only stop being able to walk after the injury ey

Nothing is going to compare to thedoctor, but my tale happened while riding a push bike down a rocky hill without shoes as a kid.. my right foot came off the pedal and got caught between the front wheel fork and the spokes while they were turning .... peeled the skin off my foot ...

Did this 3 weeks ago kiting conveniently just before the seabreeze kicks in




Wish i could say i put the coathangers in myself

long winter of looking forward to summer....then this on the 3rd seabreeze we got. next 3 days in hospital looking out at the helicopter wind sock blowing horizontal the whole time. Whole summer off the water including a 6 weeks trip to capetown[}:)]

Dropped a slide hammer and crushed my finger at work, so much blood the first aider fainted and had to bandage the finger myself. Ended up going into surgery. Anethitist gave me a local to put my arm to sleep and injected me with a 6inch needle under the armpit. I was lying down and fainted (which is apparently impossible to do cause the blood flow to the head doesn't have to go uphill). After the surgery they wacked a caste on my arm and wrapped it in a pillow. I took the pillow off (I thought that it was a bit of over kill) and my arm (still numb) started hitting me in the head and nearly broke my nose.

theDoctor said...

going the sargent major 'commando freeball' on the way home from a surf when i was a young 'un many moons ago, i caught the soft fleshy part on the shaft of mr wiggly in the savage metal teeth of the zip whilst hurriedly doing up my fly after being disturbed when having a pee in the dunes.... this was years before the movie 'there's something about mary'... remember the scene where stiller gets his frank and beans caught...? (boy did i pale ride the first time i saw that)
well... it was'nt quite as bad as that poor fella's effort but, there was three teeth's worth of flesh caught in the fly, and i had closed the zip over the skin that was caught... and i could not move.... i could not breathe... i could not release the weight of the shorts i was wearing, i had to hold them suspended out in front of me, kind of like i was fiendishly playing with myself.... and i could not even attempt to try and free myself for the pain i was feeling.... come to think of it, i could not even look to see how bad the damage was...
an old couple, who'd disturbed me peeing in the first place come to my aid.. the old guy tried to take charge and save what little dignity i might have had left, but quickly realised that his failing eyesight and unsteady hand might cause more harm than good, so passed the delicate operation to 'free willy' over to his 'kind eyed' wrinkly old wife... the old guy gave me a bracing hug around the shoulders, i guessed at the time, and in hind sight hoped it was to hold me steady, and she tried to divert my attention by telling me they were out 'roving' and did not mean to intrude on whatever it was i was doing at this out of the way place (this particular beach was a semi secret, out of the way spot back then), and the moment i tried to explain in a half weezing whisper that i was just trying to pee, she yanked on the zip and set old wiggly free. just as quickly as i had been freed, the old duck grabbed my doodle in the palm of her hand and gave it a light squeeze. i was immediately amazed at how soothing her touch was and at the same time mortified that this pretty much counted as my first sexual experience. there was no blood just a graze, however i still bear a scar on the old custard chucker to this very day.

GOLD!!!

Still can't sit properly after reading that though..

after my first kite lesson i was getting changed behind my car 100m from the bch in the carpark, pulled jeans on and like the Dr got my best mate caught. Hadn't paid the instructor (big muscly dude i didn't wantto piss off), but was in obviously much pain not to mention fkn embarrased and with no clue what to do. Eventually i saw the instructor starting to meander up to see what the hold up was with his $140 hard earned mustered up the courage had a last lk at the skin between the teeth and ripped it down, not much blood pain doesn't excite me. Clenched my teeth smiled paid the man and went bought a cold drink for my pants
cheers all