He's a good kid. Morally grounded and keeps his head on top of things. Furthermore he isn't a hard party'er but keeps himself busy with a wide network of friends. Currently starting his physiotherapy degree at 22 (has already another under his belt) but wants to sit the medical entrance exam and become a doctor. He isn't a bother at home - even chipping in his share of 'rent'. Now I am all for encouraging my kids to chase their dreams but what do you guys think? It will take atleast until he is 30 before he is financially independant furthermore I can resolve myself to him not marrying early nor grand kids any time soon if he follows this path.
What do you guys think?
Which degree does he already have? And what work has he already done?
I was working at 20.75 years of age, while completing Uni. At 21, when I had finished 3rd year Uni, I worked 7 days a week, for about 8 weeks. I had a weekend job, and 9-5 day job that I had started... Couldn't wait to earn some money, and stop doing "fake" university stuff...
Can't answer your question though... Is he scared of the real world, and real work?...
I'd be inclined to instruct him to work the entire Summer Break...
He works two jobs actually so he is making enough to support himself on top of chipping in for weekly groceries etc. Neither in the field of his degree although even then I am not sure what career prospects sport science offers (hence his transfer into physiotherapy and aspirations to become a doctor).
help him to do it if you can afford to. the couple of extra years between physio & medicine is nothing in the long run. i reckon you'll both be glad of it down the track.
the marriage & grandkids comment is a bit strange. to be frank i'm not sure that's an area of your kid's life you should be trying to influence...
I reckon with the 20hr shifts and stuff at an E.D for first year docs he is doing himself a disservice. Stick with physio and after couple of years could be almost making doctor money anyway?
Select to expand quoteTheoldgrom said..
He's a good kid. Morally grounded and keeps his head on top of things. Furthermore he isn't a hard party'er but keeps himself busy with a wide network of friends. Currently starting his physiotherapy degree at 22 (has already another under his belt) but wants to sit the medical entrance exam and become a doctor. He isn't a bother at home - even chipping in his share of 'rent'. Now I am all for encouraging my kids to chase their dreams but what do you guys think? It will take at least until he is 30 before he is financially independent furthermore I can resolve myself to him not marrying early nor grand kids any time soon if he follows this path.
What do you guys think?
Sometimes it is hard to know what you really want at that age...
He still might get through every thing...and think oh...I should have gone down the dentist, vet, philology root.
I personally think doing some non paid...work around the career you think you want to take on is all ways a good thing.
It will give you a feel of yes this is right or no ... need to go in a different direction.
Non of the jobs I am thinking will probably offer weeks of volunteer work
So if not maybe see if you can set him up with people that have been doing what he thinks he would
like to do and he can have an indepth chat about the work he wants to do and the pros and cons of the job (Vocation).
and maybe a couple of people...
(I had a step son..that wanted to be a chef...so I lined up work, tafe courses and people to talk too
He decided that the hours encroached on his band and smoking time....so that was that.
and now he is a dead beat dad with no future.. but that was his decision )
I would do this 1st before whole heatedly financially supporting him for many years
as for supporting him in other ways you have that all under controll
Select to expand quoteMark _australia said..
I reckon with the 20hr shifts and stuff at an E.D for first year docs he is doing himself a disservice. Stick with physio and after couple of years could be almost making doctor money anyway?
Yeah but as a doc you can get scripts with out a visit to the stupid wait rooms, the sitting around..I had a mate who was a Doc and was the best ever
There is an old saying. "If they havent left home by 30, the buggers never leave"
Think it cant happen, do some research and its an issue for a lot of "nearly empty nesters"
So get him out on his own, with a little support from Dad, but the smooth ride you are about to award him, cant realy be justified, seeing he is already a qualified Physio.
This year Ive had 3 daughters finish degrees without a hex debt. we simply topped up as neccessary to get them through.
2 now have jobs at pancake house
personally i think that helping them get a better education than we could afford is the whole point of getting up and going to work.
thats what our parents did. I see so many people who's kids didnt get the same standard and level of education that their parents had, and their parents dont seem bothered.
surely its our duty to make the most of our high standard of living,cos if we dont it will crumble away
daughters seem to be the best of the bunch + 1x DR @ 26 after 7 year uni,= 2 degrees, worked all the way thru + hex
boy at 24+ different world.......not so motivated
There's a degree for physio? Funny stuff.
Honestly - if it's what he wants to do, let him do it under his own steam - the harder it is for him, the more he'll respect himself and the work he's put in at the end. As a society we have to cut out this whole "it's so hard for kids these days" crap, get them off the boob and ready for survival in the real world.
Disclaimer - I have 3 kids under 10 and although my views won't change... I'm married to a woman that is very soft with the kids and I'll probably not be able to follow my own advice in the future.
Select to expand quotelandyacht said...
This year Ive had 3 daughters finish degrees without a hex debt. we simply topped up as neccessary to get them through.
2 now have jobs at pancake house
personally i think that helping them get a better education than we could afford is the whole point of getting up and going to work.
thats what our parents did. I see so man people who's kids didnt get the same standard and level of education that their parents had, and their parents dont seem bothered.
surely its our duty to make the most of our high standard of living,cos if we dont it will crumble away
Hey landyacht, I don't quite get your stance on this? I always enjoy your posts but don't understand what you're getting at... you say you helped pay for your daughters' degrees that they have no work for - yet you also defend doing this?
I wholly agree that we should give our kids the best opportunities with regard to education that we can afford - but I don't believe that we should 'prop them up'. They need to do it in their own in order to have some pride in themselves for the hard work they put in.
Edit - I had a client (semi retired couple) wander in this week after recently competing design drawings for a substantial renovation they were looking forward to for their sunset years. Their "situation had changed" and the reno had to be cut back significantly due to them receiving a phone call from one of their kids who pulled up short on buying a house and needed another $80kfrom them (to top up on the $600k they had) so they could buy the house that they wanted... thus couple have worked all their lives and are still sacrificing for their adult kids.
I know they wouldn't have it any other way, but from the outset - I felt like grabbing the kids and giving them a good shake.
Select to expand quoteTheoldgrom said..
He's a good kid. Morally grounded and keeps his head on top of things. Furthermore he isn't a hard party'er but keeps himself busy with a wide network of friends. Currently starting his physiotherapy degree at 22 (has already another under his belt) but wants to sit the medical entrance exam and become a doctor. He isn't a bother at home - even chipping in his share of 'rent'. Now I am all for encouraging my kids to chase their dreams but what do you guys think? It will take atleast until he is 30 before he is financially independant furthermore I can resolve myself to him not marrying early nor grand kids any time soon if he follows this path.
What do you guys think?
Because of the first three points you list, I think you should contribute whatever support you can give without running yourself ragged.
I know it looks like a bit of a grind at the start of the process but the fact is, it is one of the better and more long lasting investments you will ever make.
Not so much for yourself, except for the long term knowledge that if it all works out well, you can always get some satisfaction that some small part of it was enabled by your support. 
Or,.. you could just blow it all on beer and smokes, or a new car which will be on the junk heap in ten years, or a holiday which will be over in 4 weeks. 
Select to expand quoteTheoldgrom said..
He's a good kid. Morally grounded and keeps his head on top of things. Furthermore he isn't a hard party'er but keeps himself busy with a wide network of friends. Currently starting his physiotherapy degree at 22 (has already another under his belt) but wants to sit the medical entrance exam and become a doctor. He isn't a bother at home - even chipping in his share of 'rent'. Now I am all for encouraging my kids to chase their dreams but what do you guys think? It will take atleast until he is 30 before he is financially independant furthermore I can resolve myself to him not marrying early nor grand kids any time soon if he follows this path.
What do you guys think?
Really, really don't see why not - at least help whatever you can & encourage.
With mine, I have a deal whereby at the start of a degree, I sit with them, we discuss the freebees and loans portions.
I probably could afford to pay for the whole thing, but don't want to. I find it sends the wrong message - personal pov.
The free portion comes only after the loans part, about 50-60% into the diploma, and only if they go all the way through.
Medical degrees have very demanding courses. Your son will get better results, finish quicker and be more likely to graduate if you continue giving him support. Yes he may be 40 before he becomes a specialist. However he will be raking in hundreds if thousands or even millions of dollars a year when he practices as a specialist.
Select to expand quoteMobydisc said..
Medical degrees have very demanding courses. Your son will get better results, finish quicker and be more likely to graduate if you continue giving him support. Yes he may be 40 before he becomes a specialist. However he will be raking in hundreds if thousands or even millions of dollars a year when he practices as a specialist.
+1. If you get on why the hell not. he's your son !
The best asset you can spend money on is your kids education and future ! Goog luck he might save my life oneday !
I asked one of our female consultants this question in regard to my daughters end of year choices for uni and she surprised me with her answer - basically Earning lots of cash doesn't give you back the 20 years of family compromise, professional compromise and building a reputation to become an established Specialist on call 24/7 - she said tell her to look at one if the other health professions if she wants a life with some balance
being the only theDoctor on here, I believe I am the most suited to give a qualified answer...
what was the question again....?
Select to expand quotemineral1 said..
There is an old saying. "If they havent left home by 30, the buggers never leave"
Think it cant happen, do some research and its an issue for a lot of "nearly empty nesters"
So get him out on his own, with a little support from Dad, but the smooth ride you are about to award him, cant realy be justified, seeing he is already a qualified Physio.
I don't think anyone seriously wanting to undertake a medical degree should be compared to the feathers in the flock you describe.
It's going to be years of hard work. Yes people it's a very "real" degree not an Arts degree. And even when he starts working in the field of medicine it won't be "easy". I imagine you have to deal with real sick people, real dying people, real dead young people and so on. In short you are dealing day to day with the ill and/or dying.
It's a noble profession. The noblest even. It's not about the money.
You should support him. You should be well proud too.
P.S. on not leaving home until 30 median house price in Sydney now $722,000; we are truly becoming an Asian nation where we will have to live with generations of family.
maybee you could onvert the garage or downstairs room or something to give him a semi detactched sort of unit or granny flat thing. depending on your house of course.
Select to expand quoteTheoldgrom said..
He's a good kid. Morally grounded and keeps his head on top of things. Furthermore he isn't a hard party'er but keeps himself busy with a wide network of friends. Currently starting his physiotherapy degree at 22 (has already another under his belt) but wants to sit the medical entrance exam and become a doctor. He isn't a bother at home - even chipping in his share of 'rent'. Now I am all for encouraging my kids to chase their dreams but what do you guys think? It will take atleast until he is 30 before he is financially independant furthermore I can resolve myself to him not marrying early nor grand kids any time soon if he follows this path.
What do you guys think?
if you have to ask on the internet for opinion on this subject I think you already know the answer ...
Just playing the devil's advocate (again) - another thing worth thinking about is - Instead of him doing it tough (on his own), what about the added pressure he may need to deal with if (down the track) he decides not to complete the degree (or can't complete it for some reason) knowing that his parents had put up the funds and support? This would be worth discussing with him also before making the decision as he'd need to know that you're making the choice to assist him whether or not he makes it and that there is no pressure from you.
IMO guys you are part of someones social experiment. Only 2 post and well typed with minimal input.
Think about it peeps.
Cheers Youngbull with your skepticism 
Some of us actually have lives and frequent the site purely to check conditions to actually go for a surf. Surely a robot does not use emoticons? I am sorry that I do not post more regularly as I enjoy lurking and don't see any expertise in me in contributing to a thread such as the shark attack one.
Have had a talk with the son about it all and his rooms already filled with library borrowed text books so guess he really is serious about this. He has told me he does not want to free load but has made a deal that should he finish this, his first proper year wages goes towards buying the old man a retirement home In exchange we will keep him around for as long as he needs to finish the degree. He's even told us he wants to leave once the degree is finished, dreaming of working as a rural doctor with the only condition that it's somewhere with waves. Missus on the other hand doesn't even care if he stays til he is 30. Baby's him too much sometimes.
I guess my fear as some of you guys have posted is that he is going to miss out a significant chunk of his life if he follows down this road. The 20s for me was my greatest time - travelling, building my life and all that. I worry about his being stuck behind books while others are out and about.
Hope you all have a good start to the working week and Xmas around the corner.
Select to expand quoteSailhack said..landyacht said...
This year Ive had 3 daughters finish degrees without a hex debt. we simply topped up as neccessary to get them through.
2 now have jobs at pancake house
personally i think that helping them get a better education than we could afford is the whole point of getting up and going to work.
thats what our parents did. I see so man people who's kids didnt get the same standard and level of education that their parents had, and their parents dont seem bothered.
surely its our duty to make the most of our high standard of living,cos if we dont it will crumble away
Hey landyacht, I don't quite get your stance on this? I always enjoy your posts but don't understand what you're getting at... you say you helped pay for your daughters' degrees that they have no work for - yet you also defend doing this?
I wholly agree that we should give our kids the best opportunities with regard to education that we can afford - but I don't believe that we should 'prop them up'. They need to do it in their own in order to have some pride in themselves for the hard work they put in.
Edit - I had a client (semi retired couple) wander in this week after recently competing design drawings for a substantial renovation they were looking forward to for their sunset years. Their "situation had changed" and the reno had to be cut back significantly due to them receiving a phone call from one of their kids who pulled up short on buying a house and needed another $80kfrom them (to top up on the $600k they had) so they could buy the house that they wanted... thus couple have worked all their lives and are still sacrificing for their adult kids.
I know they wouldn't have it any other way, but from the outset - I felt like grabbing the kids and giving them a good shake.
could have been clearer. all of them seem to have found a niche whilst they have been studying. all of them will eventually end up working in the fields they started studying in. except 1 who has applied to go back and do a new degree in a field that she came in contact with whilst doing her first choice.her new choice ,i think will lead to much greater and diverse opportunities internationally. . Meanwhile the student support is over and the job hunting has begun. and 2 of them took jobs at pancake house to pay the bills. both are realistic in that they realize that jobs in thier chosen fields will be hard to get
we certainly supported them through their degrees, and will continue to help where we can, as none of them have a sit on your arse and complain attitude. they are all go getters who try to pull their weight at all times
Back him...with conditions.....he sounds like a good kid with his head screwed on. My sister did physio and the whole time she wished she had done medicine....she is no longer a physio and has succeeded Beyond belief in another field but she still wishes she had gone the other route. I spent 7rs at Uni and have never regretted it - loved it!! Yes there were times when I was just scrapping by whilst my friends were out having a ball but you have to make sacrifices. I loved it so much that I went back several yrs later and now teach at one. His medicine degree will open up a thousand doors for him across the globe. You may never see him again
Because it is his second degree, no HECs? You will have to pay as you go?
We had professional friend do this for their son. he is now interning @ 30 yo in Cairns. Well and truly left home.
Another friend independent daughter started Medicine last year @26. She is working her way through with 2 full time jobs - she is driven
Another friend's daughter is about to start next year at 24yo.
Another school mate went to Uni, interned at Lismore and has stayed there since as a GP. Think Brian is still there.
I could not be a doctor, but admire those that do.
As for me, I am still trying to work out what I want to do. It took 20 years after Uni to settle down. He is not alone.
I am all for encouraging and supporting him. The inheritance might be reduced. Good luck with the decision.
