WA
1933 posts
It's Friday, the weekend's only hours away but you're stuck at work and the hands on the clock are going backwards.
You need The Friday Thread!
post your funnies.
QLD
33 posts
My dark side also.....Haven't laughed shard in ages. Not surprising that cold play didn't describe his ordeal after Blutones story......
VIC
1509 posts
Good one, Leech. A bit too close to home, though. I'm due for another Date-o-scope probing later this year. Beware of the stuff called Fleet. Same explosive action as Picolax. The best part of the whole procedure, which is actually physically painless (psychologically, I'm not so sure), is that afterwards you feel really, well, purged and cleansed.
Maybe next Friday you could find a vasectomy funny!
VIC
622 posts
Bloody hell that's friggin funny.... Poor lad... 4 bouts of the 'Agent!'
NSW
3100 posts
Im still wiping the tears from my eyes. Bloody hilarious.
QLD
7436 posts
Brilliant! No ones going to top that.
Having innocently submitted to a colonoscopy about 5 years ago I can SO identify with that story. It's possibly the funniest thing I've ever read.
I'm due for another bum inspection. I'll have to pass that story on to my GP.
VIC
1230 posts
Hilarious. I managed to avoid laughing out loud until the "hovering in the lift scene" but then it had the same effect on my laughter as a dose of that stuff.
VIC
1230 posts
Leech its Friday again. Time for todays edition.
WA
12871 posts
OK so it isn't Friday, but these have just appeared in my inbox.
I had a car accident this morning.
So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the
car... and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to
get funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it... he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, I looked down at him and said "Well, which one are you then?"
and that's when the fight started..
--------------------
Nursing Home Sex
Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"Sex!!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."
Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.
She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that
I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."
VIC
1230 posts
My contribution for todays Friday Thread. I am just about to POETS and go for a windsurf. Trouble is the windgraphs from South Channel Pile have gone from Westerlies 36 knots gusting 41 to South Easterlies 1 knot gustiing 2. Jokes on me. I guess.
