New uses for tools

Just found that my one +reciprocating saw that I have been using for the last week to cut down the trees in my back yard is super for cutting frozen mince

Select to expand quote

Dezman said..
Hoped you cleaned it first

Nah, you can get mince-cutting blades for 'em. Make sure you get the one for embedded nails too, otherwise it will dull the blade

I love recipros. Good blades are not cheap, but sometimes they can do something you can't do any other way, or... have to do it by hand...


My latest 'I'm glad I have that', is a lithium ion impact driver. The thing will pull screws into wood and out the other side if you keep going. You have to be careful you don't round over the screw heads, but otherwise its great. Please note, do not try and insert footstrap screws with one unless you want to learn how to remove broken screws...

The next best thing I have stocked up on recently is step drills. I love them. You can get such a clean hole and its easy.

I used tie-wire on the legs of roast chook and got told off by the handbrake when she saw me. As if you have to use that special string for cooking. Meh..

Then again I was twisting it on with the needle nose pliers I got from the bathroom (as they are used to squeeze pimples in the centre of my back - hard to reach) so she thought it unsanitary.

But jeez I DO dip them in metho each time.

Women...

I know we have all seen it before, but I still chuckle!




The True Definition of Tools

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly-stained heirloom piece you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes
until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to further round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn't use anyway.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large prybar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts which were last over tightened 50 years ago by someone at Ford, and neatly rounds off their heads.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.

EXPLETIVE: A balm, also referred to as mechanic's lube, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow eases those pains and indignities following our every deficiency in foresight.



Here's one my brother sent me after I forwarded the above to him:
TABLE SAW: Expensive storage surface used to store unfinished projects in garages of want-to-be cabinetmakers. Called a saw only because when turned on, it will cut and clear all contents off the table and scatter them across the garage.



Law of Dropped Parts: A part dropped will roll only as far as it takes to be under something low to the ground and heavy, making it hard to retrieve the part.

dont forget the deadly nipple ripper tool , the two arm heavy duty rivet gun.
when setting 6mm stainless steel rivets , ensure handle come together directly over male nipple

Select to expand quote

nick0 said..
Just about every hand tool can be used as a hammer

Totally agree. I used my tool to hammer some poor lass this weekend gone!!!

Kitchen oven is a great place to bake the water pump housing from my bike so that the new bearings (chilling in the freezer) go in easily.

If you can't fix it with a hammer you've got an electrical problem....

sorry Harry, my toolbox beats yours,

if one of these cant fix it - the other will







stephen