Wha? What??? Help!
There's this wet stuff coming out of the sky in Perth.
What is it, and how the f am I supposed to operate a motor vehicle now?
Should I drive at a quarter of my normal speed, not bother with indicating and throw intelligent car spacing rules out of the window?
Someone please help us!!! This is even harder than merging two lanes of traffic!
Wha? What??? Help!
There's this wet stuff coming out of the sky in Perth.
What is it, and how the f am I supposed to operate a motor vehicle now?
Should I drive at a quarter of my normal speed, not bother with indicating and throw intelligent car spacing rules out of the window?
Someone please help us!!! This is even harder than merging two lanes of traffic!
Well, being from the eastern states, I can help you with that one.
First, even when especially when it's torrential, sit really really close to the car in front. Its important not to lose a car length in case some idiot wants to get in there. Merging is harder when cars are not moving, so make sure you alternate between flooring the accelerator and sitting stopped.
Make sure you don't leave big gaps between cars, even though its harder to stop when its wet. Remember, safety in a pack. Stopping is the problem of the guy in the car behind you, so make sure there is always someone close behind.
Also, increase your speed. You won't actually get home any faster, but it will make you feel something in your soul as you fly away at top speed from being stopped in traffic. Remember that its better to floor it and have stop/start traffic all day than to drive smoothly and lose that feeling of helping the situation.
If you find yourself in fog, make sure you sit even closer. It gives you better visibility of the car in front so you can see just before they crash. If, for some reason you find yourself going from sitting inches behind the driver in front, to being the driver in front, make sure you slow down to 10km/h or 70kms below the speed limit, whichever feels the safest.
Remember, keep safe!
Don't forget to speed in deeper water, it pressure cleans the underside, but it looks kool,
it could wet your dizzy and cause your ingin to pop and miss, but speed helps, just like boats
get it planning. and if it stops, climb out and roof sit till wokka wokka arrives, look bewildered.
Never take notice of depth gauges, sorry you don't recognize them. That's understandable
they were put in place in the old days so people didn't drown on their horses, not really relevant today.
lots of speed makes big waves, and everyone appreciates a big wave, don't they? If your making
big big waves that gives you right of way over all others. Take a few action selfies too, while you ring ya bogan mates ![]()
![]()
![]()
'
be sure to go round the block for a second go, maybe you can do it all day, may get on TV.........![]()
![]()
Don't forget to speed in deeper water, it pressure cleans the underside, but it looks kool,
it could wet your dizzy and cause your ingin to pop and miss, but speed helps, just like boats
get it planning. and if it stops, climb out and roof sit till wokka wokka arrives, look bewildered.
Sorry., I now need to reminisce about the old Falcon 6's that used to stop dead when they got water on the dizzy, which just happened to be down low and get all the water when it was more than a puddle.
Those were the good old days when I could drive my 4 cylinder Cortina through a lake while the 6 cylinder ones were stopped dead! Ha! Anyone game to drive one of these without a can of WD40 was just asking for trouble!
I also have quite a bit of experience with this liquid stuff on the road. As soon as the stuff falls from the skies onto the oil-laden roads - You MUST get in your vehicle and drive to the 'circuit' (all cool guys know where that is
) - exactly 2:17am is the ideal time, although this depends on if you have had enough sleep through the day. I recommend not getting out of bed until sunset. This should give you enough time to remove your muffler and do some final 'tweaks' whilst downing a few 'Woodstock' bourbons, smoke a pack of durries and knocking-up your teenage girlfriend...again.
Once entering the first intersection, ensure that you let everyone know that you're turning by putting the accelerator pedal flat to the floor - mid turn. This will undoubtedly cause a slide-out, which will be dependant on the severity of pressure applied to the accelerator and you may slide into an oncoming vehicle - but you will claim it as an "awesome drift!" albeit sh!tting your pants from the moment that you realised you lost control.
Once completing the 'circuit' of several roundabouts/intersections - you will be hailed as the most coolest awesomest (and best looking) 'drift' driver in town...
...until the next VS commodore driver navigates through in 5 minutes time and does the same 'awesome manoeuvres' that you have spent your many years on 'P-plates' honing your skills. Don't worry though - there's always tomorrow night.
It was a soon as Nebbs mentioned those mare's tail clouds.
The season instantly switched off, it went warm n humid n sh!tty.
Nebbian........ ????!!!! ![]()
and throw intelligent car spacing rules out of the window?
something doesnt add up here, this infers that intelligent car spacing is the norm when the roads are dry...
stephen
and throw intelligent car spacing rules out of the window?
something doesnt add up here, this infers that intelligent car spacing is the norm when the roads are dry...
stephen
You mean like 4 car length gap when turning on a green arrow (so only a few people get thru ![]()
) - yet same gap at 100kph on freeway?
and throw intelligent car spacing rules out of the window?
something doesnt add up here, this infers that intelligent car spacing is the norm when the roads are dry...
stephen
You mean like 4 car length gap when turning on a green arrow (so only a few people get thru ![]()
) - yet same gap at 100kph on freeway?
It's particularly annoying when people that do that are the only ones to get through the lights!
The same person (well at least this morning) that naps at the lights then makes a huge effort to change lanes to get into every lane to try and get a few car spaces ahead. The same space he probably lost by playing with his phone.
4 car length gap at 100kph on the freeway? You guys have got it made. There'd be 2 more cars in that gap if you were driving on the F3.
While I'm whining, I absolutely hate it when some numbskull overtakes me and then pulls in front of me, a whole 1 car length, while doing 110kph on the freeway... and that's even when they don't slow down. The real idiots then slow down to 100kph.
.. but at least they aren't speeding ![]()
It was a soon as Nebbs mentioned those mare's tail clouds.
Banhammer time ![]()
![]()
While I'm whining, I absolutely hate it when some numbskull overtakes me and then pulls in front of me, a whole 1 car length, while doing 110kph on the freeway... and that's even when they don't slow down. The real idiots then slow down to 100kph.
.. but at least they aren't speeding ![]()
Yes! They do it to me constantly, at least half a dozen times on a 100km trip.
And it's not me speeding up because I'm on the cruise control.
How is it that they can catch me up from two km back, roar past me and then siot one car length in front.
I might add, they usually take the Rockingam or Mandurah off ramp
Wots wrong with youse people!!.
Useless f***ers! ![]()
(ooohh I'm sorry. How rude of me. It's all Fm's fault. He started me off.
)
It was a soon as Nebbs mentioned those mare's tail clouds.
The season instantly switched off, it went warm n humid n sh!tty.
Nebbian........ ????!!!! ![]()
yeah, come home nebs, sounds like you're over doing your welcome now
xxx your fans on the GC ![]()
It was a soon as Nebbs mentioned those mare's tail clouds.
Banhammer time ![]()
![]()
Sorry dudes, there I was all off with the fairies looking at clouds and next thing you know there's a weird chemical falling from the sky.
Hmmm I think I can banhammer myself can't I?
Might have to find out ![]()