I think we had this topic a long time ago but heard a ripper on the weekend.
My wife was ring around letting daughters friends parents know about a birthday party change of date.
Obviously someone ( we are sure its older brother) has got hold of the answering machine and made a slight change to message.
This is what we heard.....
"Hi, youve called ***-****. Dad, Mum, Lee and ****head cant come to the phone at the moment but we will get back to you"
We rang it several times just to keep laughing.
He's probably gonna cop it but it was funny.

How about:-

"Hello this is ****** speaking. ____PAUSE____ I am sorry I can't answer your question right now because I am not actually here, but if you leave your name and number after the tone, I'll get back to you later with an answer."

It doesn't amuse everybody.

reminds us of this bloke!!!

A mate of min was trying to leave a message on a tech support after hours line once.
It went something like
"so i press this.......beep...... mate its not working...........so what now......ahhhhh ****ing machine....."

the best one ive had is a friend had one " hello this is ----- who's this? ........ pause ...... im sorry i can't hear you speak up..........pause......... no i cant hear you please speak up ............ pause ............ no louder ..... " it got so many people just yelling into the phone