Well it was the time for the old Prostate Poke caper so off I trundled (( fearfully coz I farken hate surgeries & hospitals nowadays I truly do )) to my Quack's Palace of Pain ..... when I arrived I gleefully noted that he had an Intern/Trainee , or whatever the fark you call 'em , in tow .... not too foul on the eyeballs either this chick really - which made my outlook even more sh!tty "great stuff" I thought .... "now this smokin' hot chicky's gonna see my arsehole in all it's magnificent star-shaped glory" "farken awesome .... not"

So they frogmarch me into the old fart's oracle .... "drop yer strides champion" the old fart says I cannot even glance at chicky Intern just farken can't onto the slab the Pup goes "OK this won't take long" says old fart BUT something magnificent happens My cheeks just would not part ... I was just so tensed up the old Eye in the Lower Sky had slammed shut I just couldn't do it , my arse wasn't having a bar of it no matter what they tried & even better the chicky Intern was giggling

I am Farken stoked .... my arse has done me proud nothing going up my clacker .... thankyou Lord I owe ya a beer or three

Bonus: I had the blood test & came back farken squeaky clean .... farken squeaky clean you bewdy


I am still a virgin Farken stoooooooooked