I went for a grovel today at Perth's favourite beachie. I hit the carpark and then walked at least 100m to get away from the crowd. There were a few people. I sat wide. After a while they left and I was alone. After another while one guy drifted up and we split the waves for a while. There are obviously no banks, so it was just a little rip that occasionally broke early enough to allow a turn vs. the closeouts along most of the beach.

Then a rare wave came that I managed an almost barrel and a dropwallet as the kids call them these days (although I blew the recovery). Then strangely enough another that give me a good down the line wall and a few turns. As soon as I paddled back out, three sheep paddled down from a good 100m away. And then, a whole bunch decided that of the whole beach, they all had to sit on top of me. Eight other people. Then a couple more arrived. And then, worst of all, a couple of SUPs paddled up the beach, attracted by the crowd. I've noticed they've really taken off this year, with the tiny swells. But it baffles me why they'd have to come and stand right amongst a pack of shortboarders and a booger.

Same two guys I've "experienced" before. They ride boards with red rails, are relatively young as far as SUPs go, but are of typical SUP (lack of) ability level. The other time they had no business being out, with one guy getting stuck right in the middle of the line of the bank I was sitting on and spending 10 minutes completely spoiling the inside section of that wave. Literally 10 minutes. He couldn't paddle back out through the 2'ers and just kept ditching his board and swimming under waves with his paddle, with a 20' radius of destruction as his aircraft carrier and leash stretched out in the whitewater.

This time they were doing the same, falling off while paddling and getting caught inside the 6" waves and flailing around for a while. **** off.

In the end I caught a wave in on my stomach in disgust. Apart from the two waves the whole session sucked, but at least I was on my own. But shame on all the sheep and kooks who just had to share the bank with me. Yeah, I know half of your faces. Tourists, kooks on SUPs and the two groms with their dad paddling for everything. I was hoping a nice wave would come through so I could drop in on someone but no such luck. I would've had no problem dropping in on any one of those snakes. I sat quietly, holding my position, while they all drifted around me on both sides. But the waves sucked and nothing worthwhile came.

I went out yesterday on the same bank and there was one old crippo when I paddled out. I was fully mindful he was there first so I sat wide the whole time until he went in. I could've paddled inside him, could've pressured him. But why? He was there first, he knew what he was doing. He got a few nice waves. Then he left them to me and went in.

Today that bank was the most crowded of all I could see when I left. And those stupid SUPs ... I was hoping one would do something stupid like hit someone so I could snap out their fin and tell them how stupid they are.

Bah. Bring on next week's weather. Hopefully stir things up so I can venture further away from the dumbarses in search of uncrowded banks.