Warning
(1) cut n pasted
(2) offensive to far lefties and greenie socialist types
(3) long

but a good read......

Our HistoryCenturies ago, when the English, French, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese were conquering
and enslaving the native populations of foreign lands, Australia was known as Van
Diemen's Land, named by the Dutch. For some reason the Dutch missed the east coast of Australia entirely, took one look at Western Australia and Tasmania and buggered off again. How you can miss something that big is still a bit of a mystery but that's the clog wogs for you.
As a result, England made the discovery itself and used it initially as a dumping ground for convicts (some of whom had done nothing more than pinching a crust of bread rather than
starve). The native population of this land weren't given any consideration at that time, but then neither were the thousands of sick, miserable, dying and beaten people who arrived
as Prisoners of Mother England (POMEs). As it turns out, the miserable wretches who survived actually got a chance at a better life than they would have had in England and they worked their bums off to give their descendants a real future. In keeping with the colonial mindset of the times, all the native people got was smallpox.
Eventually, it became clear that Australia was valuable and could produce sheep and wheat, as well as being rich in gold and iron ore. This made the ordinary Australian proud and the Government rub its hands in glee at the though of the taxes it could impose.
Australia became so big that it INVITED others to come and help build it even bigger.
These people came from all nations and all walks of life and they WORKED BLOODY
HARD to carve out a new life for themselves. The one thing they learned very quickly was
that if they looked, said, ate or thought something that seemed a bit different they would be
punched on the nose by Australians. I'm one of those people and we were given names
like, Wog, Pommy Bastard, Eyetie, Gook etc. To avoid being punched on the nose, we
soon learned to INTEGRATE and punch New Australians on the noses ourselves.
We didn't have social workers, translators or psychologists holding our hands; actually
upon arriving we received a lecture from the local Mayor telling us we had to work hard and
not be slackers. Many people were offended by this and worked even harder to prove they
weren't slackers. After our lecture we were introduced to something called Migrant Hostels
and believe me, they were the most rudimentary form of accommodation you could
imagine. If my parents had been housed at the Villawood Detention Centre, they would
have thought it four star accommodation and they certainly wouldn't have sat out on the
roof in protest when they had the option of a PRIVATE BEDROOM.
Australia's history is one of receiving and integrating people through a process of rough
accommodation, nose punching and name calling, regardless of what our Government and
its social workers tell you.
So the next time someone insults you or punches you on the nose, smile. It means you're
INTEGRATING. If you run to the nearest social worker, it means you're not integrating at
all and, like our current Government, you're pissweak.
Our Laws
In 1901, Australia adopted its own Constitution. We still recognise the British Sovereign,
but pretty much run things ourselves here. The only time we use the Queen for anything
(apart from the odd Public Holiday) is if our Prime Minister puts the mineral rights of this
country up as collateral to borrow money for Public Service wages and gets a smack over
the head via the Governor General when he's found out (The Dismissal 1975).
From our Constitution come our laws, our rights, freedoms and our identity. We're pretty
proud of these things because they're what make us Australian. Occasionally, politicians
and lawyers try to change or distort these things to suit their own agenda. When this
happens we get pretty upset and remind them of the Eureka Stockade.
As part of standing up for our rights, freedoms, identity etc, we have participated in wars in
the past. Some of these wars have been the Boer War, the Boxer Rebellion, WW1, WW2,
Korea, The Malay Borneo Conflict, Vietnam, Bosnia, Iraq (1 & 2), Afghanistan and dozens
of other global skirmishes. When the Aussies turn up at a fight, their allies are delighted.
Their enemies are not so delighted.
What this means to us is that men and women have died for our Constitution and our laws,
freedoms, rights etc and we honour them constantly as a result. This makes those things
they have died for very precious to us and we don't appreciate it when New Australians
start wanting change to those laws to suit their own religious or cultural beliefs.
In particular, we do not want SHARIA LAW in our country. Muslims are demanding that
certain aspects of Sharia Law are observed in Australia, but the answer is no. Even if you
discount the barbarous female stoning and genital mutilation, the following are not
Australian:
· Being able to marry at 16 (that'll push the divorce rate through the roof)
· Waiting a shorter time to apply for divorce (If you're that keen, go to Reno USA)
· Changing the banking system to accommodate a new style of mortgage (boo
hoo, we've been trying to make those bastards listen to us for decades)
Above all else, it is absolutely ridiculous to expect that these laws should only apply to Muslims in this country and not the rest of us. THAT'S RACIST.
So, if you think you're coming to Australia to change its laws to suit your religious beliefs,
think again. While the blood of convicts, wogs, pommy bastards, eyeties and gooks lies in our soil, it will remain Australian and subject to Australian law.
If you don't like the sound of this and you run to the nearest social worker, it means you're
not integrating at all and, like our current Government, you're pissweak.
Our Culture
As part of our culture, we play hard, we fight hard and we feel pretty strongly about our
recreational pursuits.
Religion
We're a pretty mixed bag in this area. The earliest settlers were Protestants,
Catholics, Presbyterians, Dissenters, Methodists, Congregationalists, and Jews.
(Isaac Isaacs and Zelman Cowan are two past Jewish Governor Generals). In
Australia, we have a fairly relaxed attitude towards religion PROVIDED you don't try
and shove it down our throats or under our noses.
Once you start parading around with your beliefs on your sleeve, that's when we get
annoyed with you. Burkhas are a prime example of this, as are Jehovah Witnesses
with briefcases on a Saturday morning. Much like the Gay Mardi Gras, we believe
that anybody so hell bent on trying to prove they're comfortable with their life choices
by going out of their way to look ridiculous is hiding something and as a result we
don't trust them.
As for expecting anybody to employ a person who needs to stop twice a day to pray,
well that's ridiculous. Confine your prayers to your own time and you'll find
integration far easier. If your life choices don't fit with your employment choices,
MOVE ON and give an Aussie a job.
Sport
Learn this rule first: One hand, once bounce, you're out
Anything goes in Aussie sport and backyard cricket is the king of sports here. If you
happen to be wearing cultural apparel such as a burkha, a saffron robe, a turban or
a dog collar, prepare to have it used against you when going for a catch.
In terms of professional sport, we don't care what you are or where you come from
as long as you're on our team and you win. You could even escape communist
dictatorship through a ship porthole clad only in a red bikini and we'll welcome you
with open arms if you're an Olympic medallist. If you lose (or suddenly decide to go
home) we don't care; the media will crucify you for us and we don't have to do a
thing to get rid of you.
Cuisine
Get used to it; we're a nation built on alcohol - from the Rum Rebellion to Alco pops
Tax; it is part of our life and there's nothing you can do to avoid it. We won't be
blacking out bottle shops like the cigarette display at Coles and we won't stop
cracking a coldie whenever we please. Most of all, we make WINE upon which a
large part of our export economy is built.
As for our food, pigs were in the First Fleet and fed the earliest settlers of this
country and if it was good enough for them, it's certainly good enough for us. We're
not asking you to eat what we do; just don't come into someone's house and
demand the host serve something different. Be grateful you were allowed in at the
outset.
Finally, we have animal cruelty laws in Australia and certain people need to address
the way in which they slaughter sheep because it's bloody barbaric.
If you don't like the sound of this and you run to the nearest social worker, it means you're
not integrating at all and, like our current Government, you're pissweak.
Your Manner of Arrival
If you pay somebody to take you to Australia without going through the normal refugee
channels, you are an ILLEGAL ALIEN and will therefore be viewed with a high degree of
suspicion by Australians. You will also be viewed as a QUEUE JUMPER as you have
muscled your way to the front of the line using money as a tool to do so.
Given your decision to arrive on our shores in this manner, surely you must understand that
we need to know who you are, what you're doing here and whether or not you can be
trusted.
Our current Government seems committed to welcoming you with open arms and ensuring
you're more comfortable than its own native inhabitants upon your arrival. The moment
you complain about your accommodations, a gaggle of social workers run to the media and
demand the most ridiculous set of rights for you and your families. Additionally, the
homosexual green who would like to run this country wants you to be walking down George Street within 48 hours, free as a bloody bird. Given the following, this is absolutely ridiculous and gets us all more than a little upset.
· You may be carrying diseases which take time to diagnose
· You may be lying about who you are
· You may be lying about your circumstances
· You might be wanted for a criminal act in your own country
As your own countries are generally in disarray it takes time to work everything out.
Of course, if things really are as bad as you say, surely coming to detention situation in a
place with no war, no disease all the food you can eat and your own room has to be far
better from that which you are escaping.
So, when we hear you are protesting or demanding things, we get pretty upset and ask the
following questions:
· Why are you escaping from Iraq or Afghanistan when our bloody troops are
busting their arses over there to make it safe for you?
· If things were that hard in your country why is it you can afford the huge sums
being demanded by people smugglers?
· Why is it that far more men arrive on boats than women and children?
· Why are these men leaving wives and children behind in a country that's
supposedly so unsafe they'd be killed if they stayed? (Our culture demands
women and children to safety first – Titanic 1912). The Viet refugees sent all the women and kids to safety first in the 70's and 80's ......
· Why don't you return to your country once the threat has gone?
· What would happen to us if we turned up on your country's shores and
demanded religious freedom?
· What the hell is an Economic Refugee and why is that a criterion for granting
asylum? (There's thousands of Aussie families doing it tough who could claim
refugee status on those grounds if they showed up in Sweden tomorrow)
If you don't like these questions and you run to the nearest social worker, it means you're
not integrating at all and, like our current Government, you're pissweak. If however you
have a good argument for your arrival and presence on our shores, we'd sure like to hear it
because what we've heard to date is pissweak.
So, Welcome to Australia
The above is fairly indicative of this country's people and their attitude towards the current
plague of boat refugees arriving on our shores. It's not what you'll read in travel brochures,
it's not what you'll hear from politicians, social workers, lawyers or the mainstream media, but it's what we think and feel. And you can't blame us.
The only possible way you can convince us that your arrival is good for a country that's
already OVERPOPULATED (people per square kilometre of liveable, arable land) is to do
the following:
· Accept the odd punch in the nose from an Aussie when you look, say or do
something that's not part of our culture
· Accept that we're gonna give you a name (cheese eating surrender monkey,
greasy lebbo, pommy bastard, slimy wog) whether you like it or not
· Understand that you weren't invited here just like most of us weren't and are going to have to
work damned hard to gain even the tiniest acceptance
· Don't ram your religion down our throats or under our noses
· Don't expect us to change the rules to suit you
And above all:
This country might seem pissweak and
its inhabitants easygoing but beware:
that's only its current Government
Our nation's history is as one of the
most tenacious, tough and stubborn
in times of conflict.
Like those at Gallipoli, Tobruk and
Kokoda before us, we might get pushed
to the edge but when we fight we roar like lions.
Don't mistake our Government's words
and actions for those of its inhabitants.
Welcome to Australia and Learn to Bloody Integrate
If you don't like it, Piss Off